Achan in my Life

Joshua 7

I have long loved the verse Hosea 2:14-15 "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor, a door of hope." I never knew where the term 'Valley of Achor' came from or really what it meant on any real level. All I did know was the footnote in my bible that said "*Achor means 'trouble'". I just liked the sound of God taking my troubles and using them to give me hope, a la Romans 8:28-29. Last week in my bible study time, I found myself randomly (and I mean randomly) in Joshua 7. I grew up on the stories of Joshua, but disappointingly admit that I have never read the book entirely for myself. So, without having read the first 6 chapters, starting in on chapter 7 was a little odd, but certainly not by chance. (As I would discover as I chewed on the morsel the Lord gave me from this portion of His word that day after I finished my reading.)

Joshua 7 is subtitled 'Achan's Sin'. I had no idea who Achan was or what his sin was- no frame of reference whatsoever. But whoever he was, or whatever he did, must have been pretty important to earn a subtitle in the scriptures. I'm just sayin'.

I encourage you to read the chapter for yourself, but I will offer you a Cliff's Notes version just to speed things up and put us all on the same page. The Israelites had just conquered Jericho and were ordered by God to destroy everything in the city before continuing in the promised land. They did as they were told and then proceeded to send some scouts into the land to begin acquiring it. What they all expected to be like shooting fish in a barrel, ended up with their scouts being slaughtered. Begging God for answers on why they were experiencing such difficulty, he replied with a really simple "You didn't do what I told you. I told you to destroy everything from Jericho, but someone among you kept some it for themselves." Fast forward a few verses and dun, dun, dun!! -- whodunit? You guessed it: Achan. Achan's sin was that he did as God instructed (destroy all that was in Jericho) but ,and this is a colossal but, he kept just a teeny tiny bit of it hidden for himself. He mostly did exactly as God said, but not completely did he obey.

Now, because of Achan's sin, trouble upon trouble was heaped on those around him. And ultimately, Achan was stoned and buried in the Wilderness. Because of Achan and his sin (of keeping just a little smidgen for himself, when God demanded everything), the place where he is buried is called the "Valley of Achor" or, the Valley of Trouble.

I could not help but feel my own eyes filled with conviction as I looked at my own heart. How many times has the Lord instructed me to give Him my all and I respond with "Absolutely, God." All the while thinking to myself 'Except for this one tiny bit I'll hold on to, secretly.' And how many times have I walked through and remained in 'Valleys of Trouble' because I didn't just do as he asked and hand it all over.

Now, for me, Hosea 2:15 takes on entirely new meaning. The encouragement in this for me, is that, so often the Valley of Achor is a result of my own doing*. So, how much more merciful, and more beautiful that the Lord still chooses to use these Valleys as an opportunity to give me hope. Out of my own sin, my own failures, he offers hope. And he'll offer it to you, too.

(*Please be noted that this is not always the case- I believe it is scripturally accurate that the Lord allows us to walk through hurts and pains that are not a result of our own doing, but just mysteries that are for his glory. That is to say, as a reminder, that we can never be 'good' enough to avoid hurt and 'earn' blessing. I just thought it was important to make a note of that theological principle.)


Thank you, Thank you Lord, that you redeem what I ruin with my foolishness. How silly to think that I can keep things in secret from you and get away with it! Thank you Lord, that your mercies never run out on me and you always stand ready to forgive me and offer me hope. Please teach me to see where I am holding out on you and refusing to give you everything. And when my eyes are open to my withholding, Lord, give me the strength and desire to let go and hand it over joyfully.


Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV) " The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

GRAPEFRUIT

Psalm 107:9 "For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things."

I am a pretty healthy eater (Thanks, momma!) but have always hated grapefruit and it's bitter undertone. I recently discovered a supersweet variety that is arguably the best fruit I have ever inhaled. (Yes, inhaled.) As I was savoring each juicy morsel during my lunch break, I was curious about the health benefits of grapefruit and the history of it as well. In doing some light research over lunch, I discovered that grapefruit earned its name because it grows in clusters in trees similar to actual grapes. In my curiosity, I wanted to see what this looked like, so I did an image search from there. When I saw this picture of a grapefruit tree, I was struck with awe and wonder.

What a might God we serve! I know I'm odd to be so stricken by a photo of a common, everyday fruit. But seeing the photo of the clusters of grapefruit hanging from the trees incited in my heart such awe and wonder for my God. How deep is His love for us, How vast beyond all measure! To think, that in God's plan for our lives, (had sin not entered the equation and ruined everything), then as we hungered through our days, we could just leisurely reach just above our heads and be filled with delicious, satisfying foods that would make us healthy, strong, and happy. If God cares that much to give us such delights to simply fill our bellies, how much more does He care to delight our hearts and souls? And even more, scripture ensures us that will not simply fill us with stuff, but with good stuff!

I simply had to take a moment and offer praise to my Savior for the beauty He creates in my life. I am so thankful that the Lord is teaching me, over and over again, to have eyes open to seeing His providence in my life. All the times I wondered, doubted, refused to believe and struggled to make things come together on my own were totally in vain. He has been there, ALL along, providing for my every need. I was just too blind to see all the wonderful ways he was (and is, and will) take care of me.

My God is so good. You've just GOT to get to know Him if you don't already. I promise- you will not regret it.

Lord, thank you so much for your constant provision over my every need. Thank you that you not only fill my emptiness, but you fill me with satisfaction with things that are good. Teach me to continually trust you as you lead me along your paths, that I might reach up along the way and be filled with your provision. You are so good to me, Jesus. Keep my heart fresh with the joy of that truth.

Psalm 103:1-5 " Praise the LORD, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. "

Deuteronomy 6:10-11 " When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied."

JUST THE TWO OF US

Psalm 142

After spending most of my life with the Lord, I have seen certain patterns and cycles play out that reveal a lot about who I am, and also about who the Lord is in relation to me. Sometimes I feel as though I'm a dog on the leash with the Lord. I love my master and I want to obey, but inch by inch I slowly eek my way ahead of him and the pace he's got me going at. I want to go ahead, follow my nose and lead us down the path that I choose. But it is when I get to the end of that length of leash that I realize in going too far, I don't get to experience freedom, I just end up choking myself.

I'm not talking about sin patterns here. I'm more just talking about living life, thinking that you are heeling right by the Lord, when in reality, you are slowly inching away from him. One day you look up and realize that he's much farther away than you ever thought and really the only thing that brings you back to him is the fact that your straying has left you feeling tight and choked.

When this happens, I am brought not only to the end of my 'leash', but to the end of myself. And it is in these dead ends of spiritual exhaustion that I am reminded of and comforted by these words, "When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way." (Pslam 142:3)

I can aimlessly wander, but when I get to the end of myself- it is He who remains steadily walking on the same path that we started on. It is he who remains as I return.

And then, as I come back to walk in step with my master, I recant the words I have said a hundred times before: "Well Lord, here we are again- just you and me." At the end of the day, that's all it ever will be. Regardless of what family, friends and other relationships I have in my life- it is always just him. and. me. And I'm thankful for that. There is a tenderness and security in that which cannot be found in anything on this earth.

Thanking the Lord today that He is steadfast. That He walks the same path that He set out on an eternity ago. And praising Him that no matter how many times I get distracted and wander off- he is always, ALWAYS there, to welcome me home. How great is his love for us- for me!

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever!" Psalm 118:1

Lord, you are so patient and tender with me. Thank you, that no matter what I do, how I forget you or how far I wander- you always wait for me. And thank you, that I can come back to walk in step with you, and find rest in knowing it's just you and me. Forever and always. You are so good to me.

HOW DEEP THE FATHER'S LOVE FOR US

SAY UNCLE!!! (Holding onto God with a death grip)

Genesis 32:22-32

Let me preface today's entry with a disclaimer: I do not profess to fully understand the ways in which God works regarding blessing. I do not hold to the teachings of the prosperity gospel (i.e. the idea that God is Santa Claus and just wants to give you a bunch of 'stuff' to make life for you happy and comfortable.) It is my belief that God doesn't necessarily want us to be primarily happy, but HOLY. However, I do know that God offers blessing upon blessing to those he loves. In fact, a www.biblegateway.com search on the word 'bless' offered 388 findings! James 1:17 says that "Every good and perfect gift is from above." So, as you read today, please don't hear me say that God is at my mercy, being pulled with puppet strings to give me all my 'wants'. That is not what I am aiming to proclaim.

Now, onto today's good stuff.

I grew up in a home with two older brothers. Being the youngest and a girl, it only made perfect sense that I would be mercilessly harassed pretty much all the time. I have many, many memories of being pinned beneath the strong arms of one of the boys and being required to utter words acknowledging their supremacy over me. If I refused to say "Uncle!!", I remained a prisoner of their dominance. Sound familiar to anyone else?

I love, love this passage describing Jacob's struggle with God. First of all, how amazing is it that Jacob was allowed to physically wrestle with the God of the universe? Obviously, God could have overpowered him. But he allowed Jacob to exert all the strength that he could while letting Jacob [likely] feel like just maybe, it was somewhat of a fair match. Which, leads me to believe that maybe God just wanted to see how hard Jacob would try to invest himself in this struggle. Like, how much did Jacob care? Because, you've heard the saying that you can't hate someone you didn't love first. You can't have a vicious, violent argument with someone unless you have deep seeded emotion towards them.

When I came to verse 26 and read "I will not let you go unless you bless me." I thought, 'whoah- pretty bold words there, Jacob! Gettin' a little big for your britches, dontcha think?! How dare you demand such a thing from the Sovereign God?!' But you know what? God did exactly what Jacob asked!

I immediately began thinking about what blessing from God looks like. I know that I do not control God or force him to do as I please. I might 'wrestle' with him. But if for some reason, I do end up on top, with him pinned beneath me, it's only because he humored me enough to let me think I've got a leg up. Similar to running a 'race' with a toddler- as a grown adult you could destroy the kid in a matter of steps, but out of love for them, you let them keep pace with you and ultimately, surrender the win so the kid feels good about themselves. But everyone obviously knows, the toddler cannot actually win against you.

I also thought very much about what it looks and feels like to wrestle and revisited my childhood memories. And God reminded me: you cannot wrestle with someone you are not holding onto for dear life. If your grip is not a death grip- you are not wrestling at all. And in this section of scripture, why does it say God blessed Jacob? Because he struggled with God. This so encouraged me to keep up the faith, keep up the fight and HOLD ON for dear life. Struggles can sometimes be ugly, but you cannot, cannot let go- or you lose everything.

I do not know the specifics of what God can and will bless me with in this life. There are things I hope for, but don't necessarily feel as though He has promised them to me. But there is one thing I know, that I know, that I know that He has promised me with: HIMSELF. He has promised to be my portion, to be enough for me, always be with me, to never leave me or forget me.

After reading this scripture, I am choosing to continue struggling with God, to hold onto him with a death grip- shouting "But you promised!!!" and "I'm not letting go!".

While I will continue to ask my heavenly father for particular blessings, I know, in the deepest depths of my heart- that there is no blessing greater than the opportunity to know Him on an intimate level.

Oh Lord, forgive me for the moments where I begrudge you for having me struggle with you. And thank you for using the struggle to bless me. Thank you for giving me eyes to see that in the wrestling match, my prize is that I get to hold on to you for dear life. While I pray for your providence and your tangible blessings in my life, I pray that you would keep my heart rooted in the real prize: intimacy with you. Thank you for hearing me, loving me and never, ever forsaking me. I love you, Lord.

Romans 9:13 "Jacob I have loved...."

Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."

WHAT'S YOUR SONG?

Psalms 40

Come thou Fount of every blessing,

tune my heart to sing thy grace;

streams of mercy, never ceasing,

call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,

mount of thy redeeming love.

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and the mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."

The bible talks an awful lot about the things that come out of our mouth. There are far too many scriptures to reference in this short blog, but for starters, check out what James 3 has to say about the use of our mouth. It is with our mouth that we vent our frustrations, shout for joy at victory, quietly curse the driver in front of us, utter our prayers before God and, also, sing our praises to him.

Reading Psalm 40 verse 3 today, I was struck by the word new. Why did the pslamist need a new song? To say he was in need of a new song implies that he already had a song, but it was old and worn out. What was his song about? The 'new song' verse is preceded with mention of his life of despair. (The words 'slimy pit', 'mud' and 'mire' all paint this picture.) I can only imagine that the chorus to the old song was likely very "Woe is me♪♬". While God put a new song in his mouth that was "a hymn of praise to our God."

In light of this, I have no choice but to look at myself and examine what song song I am singing. Am I using my mouth to sing a song of frustration, complaining or even pitifully singing a "Woe is me" lullaby to myself? (All of which 'songs', I might add, are self-focused, not God-focused.) OR am I leaning on the Lord and allowing Him to put a new song in my mouth; a song of praise to him? If I continue to choose the former songs to sing, then Lord have mercy on me. For, "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45). If all I have to sing about is the woeful things that weigh on my heart and mind, then it's time for a sobering heart check.

My prayer today, for me and for you is that we prayerfully consider what is the 'abundance' of our hearts and then ask God to give us a new song, one that brings praise to him and sets our hearts' focus on who he is and what he has done.

Oh Lord, you are so merciful and so faithful. While I constantly turn back and turn inward, focusing on myself and groaning with self pity and complaint, Lord- you are so faithful to replace my muddiness with the beautiful songs of your praise. Lord, be not far from me today as I cling to you to give me songs of joy, peace and praise to you. Let me sing a song of adoration, with my gaze fixed firmly on you.

Hebrews 12:2 "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." (NIV)

Proverbs 23:7 "For as a man thinketh within himself, so is he...." (ASV)

Psalm 32:7 "You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance."

I adore old hymns and this one is one of my favorites. Please have a listen..... Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.

He Has Made Me Glad

1 Samuel 1

Elements of a story I just read: a love triangle, the tragedy of a barren woman, spiteful cattiness between rival women, bitter weeping, 'craziness', healing (of hearts), miracles, and somehow, a happy ending. Um, is this a soap opera? No, it would be 1 Samuel chapter 1. I'm not going to give any more details of this chapter. It is such a juicy chunk of scripture, you simply must read it for yourself. Go ahead. Do it now. I highly suggest you do your homework for this one, because there may or may not be a pop quiz on the reading today. I'm just sayin'. (The text can be accessed using the link at the top of this post, it's pretty simple.)

Ok, now that you've done your reading, I've got a few questions for you coming away from reading 1 Samuel 1.

Q1. Who is your taunter?

Q2. What does he say?

Q3. What are you believing God for in prayer?

Q4. When was the last time, like Hannah, you poured out your heart to the Lord? (Psalm 62:8)

If you're stuck pondering the answers to the questions, no worries, I've prepared a cheat sheet.

A1. The Devil. Satan. Lucifer. Call him what you want, but ultimately, he's the 'taunter' of us all. (John 8:44)

A2. You can't trust God. He won't do what he said and/or he won't do what's good for you. (Genesis 3:1-5)

A3. I can't answer this one for you, it's different for all of us and most likely evolves as we journey through this life.

A4. Again, only you know the answer to this one, but if it hasn't been recently, I encourage you to ask God to break open the floodgates in your heart so that you might be able to pour out on him the deepest, truest thoughts/feelings/fears in your heart. He can handle it.

While I thoroughly enjoyed reading this chapter in it's entirety, my absolute favorite verse was 18, "...Then she went her way and ate something and her face was no longer downcast." Doesn't sound like much, until you consider the reality sandwiched around this seemingly superfluous detail. Hannah was in desperate need. She chose to pour out her heart to God. She pleaded with him, petitioning his merciful power to meet her needs. Then, just like that, she was no longer sad. Sure, it was a choice she made. But it wasn't a choice based on her circumstances, or on blessings poured out on her. Her choice was based, in faith, on the unchanging God. She could choose to be glad, because she knew he could be trusted.

I already said it, but I will say it again. If you have not poured out your heart to God recently, Psalm 62:8 style, you're just hurting yourself. It is so often, in this emptying out before him, that he shows up with the gift of faith that is enough to hold fast. Enough to make you glad.

*BONUS QUESTION*
Have you chosen to BELIEVE the word of the Lord and then, therefore, choose to 'no longer be sad'? If not, then I encourage you to not wait on your circumstances, but be encouraged by believing in faith. Stand firm on the promises of his faithfulness. He is faithful.

(Note: Hannah didn't decide to 'no longer be sad' once she became pregnant, but once she believed in the Lord's goodness and faithfulness to come through on His promise to her. It was a response to her faith.)

Lord, you are so good to me. You are faithful and you can be trusted. You are the strength of my heart and my portion. I will trust in you. Because you hear my prayers and care deeply for me, I will choose to be glad. Let me bless you with praise from my mouth and worship from my heart. I love you, Lord.

Psalm 21:6
Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence.
Psalm 31:7
I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.

**Give an ear to this beautiful worship song by Hillsong, "Made Me Glad"

HEALING IN THE WORD

Psalm 107

I recently began a new small group with some sisters in Christ and we had a lengthy discussion about accountability, prayer and confession. So often, we are so afraid to admit to others our weaknesses and failings, but 1 John reminds us that "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:8-9) and James 5:16 says "Therefore, confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed."

We don't often think about our need for healing as much as we think about our 'needs' in general. For example, I pray more frequently than I would like to admit about my 'need' for success in work, a mate to partner with, comfort in my circumstances and ease for the goings on of my day ('Lord, help me to have a good day.') And while I do ask for forgiveness, I think my heart is often positioned more towards the need for cleansing than healing. What I'm considering now is the biblical relationship between forgiveness-cleansing-healing.

I will also admit, I am very much an avid practicer of Psalm 62:8 "...POUR out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.". Being that I am a private person that is not often comfortable wearing my heart on my sleeve or sharing my emotions with other people, I treasure that I can pour my heart out on God. He is a place where I can do my verbal 'dumpings'. Sometimes I am torn about these emotional avalanches that cascade out of my heart and onto the shoulders of God. I think maybe I shouldn't be so focused on praying out my 'feelings' to God and rather, it would be more spiritually mature to be praying something more noble; to have a heart like his, to pray for the lost, to meditate on his word, etc.

I was comforted today when I read Psalm 107 that not only is it okay for me to cry out in emotional distress, but in doing so, I will find the healing that I so desperately need (whether I realized I'm in need of healing or not.) v. 19-20 "Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave."

Break it down now: 1. Cry out. I.E. my verbal dumpings/avalanche of emotions

2. Be healed. Not just be listened to or be comforted but be healed.

What struck me most about this verse was how the Lord says he will heal you. By changing your circumstances? By taking away painful things in your life? By giving you a tougher skin against adversity?

By. His. Word.

Based on scripture, I know at least two things about his Word.

GOD'S WORD IS

Powerful "The Word of God is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12) and John

Eternally Jesus "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God." (John 1:1)

In light of all this, thanking God today for this little nugget: "Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens." (Psalm 119:89)

Thank you Lord, that you are a refuge for the mess that is my heart. Thank you that you are big enough to handle my emotional dumpings. And thank you, Lord, that through your unchanging nature, you offer me healing that I so desperately need. Your spirit is a tall drink of water to my thirsty soul. I pray, Lord, that you keep inscribing your word onto my heart as on to stone tablets. Let me not forget the word you've offered me, but cling to it in faith that what you have said is already done. You are my portion, and I will find my joy in you. I love you, Lord.