Read: Matthew 4-5
As I have mentioned before, I have been a believer for ever 20 years. I accepted Christ as my Savior way back I was five years old. But, I have spent the remainder of my life struggling to allow Him to be not only my Savior, but also my Lord, which is infinitely harder to do. I have been baptized, of my own accord, when I was eight. I remember wanting to do it, but I had no understanding of what it really meant. And even though I am almost embarrassed to say it, I don't know that I really even understood what it symbolized until just the last year or so.
My problem (or one of my problems, rather) is that I want to live a life with the power of Christ's resurrection, but I have not been willing to share with Him in death. Baptism symbolizes this process. In order to have new life, you must give up your old life. In order to be raised up from the dead, you must first die. In order to share in His resurrection, you must first share in His death. I have missed this utterly important principle for most of my life. Although I understood in my head, I couldn't hinge my life on it, because my heart didn't 'get it'.
In choosing to trust Him fully, I am, by default, choosing the death of my own life for myself. Even though it is a death that I must die each and every day, it is such a sweet death. Those words are strange to hear, but it's true. But, it is sweet to me, because I know it is sweet to Him. Ephesians 5:2 tells that His death is sweet to the Lord, and my death is as well.
I feel like I have been dating the Lord off an on for most of my life. During some periods, I was really committed and loyal to Him and then a certain turn of events would leave me choosing to neglect Him and tend to my selfish desires. After 22 years of wobbling on my feeble feet, I am choosing to allow Him to teach me how to walk steadily. After a lifetime of casually 'dating' the Lord, I want to proclaim to world that I have made up my mind, and that I am His. I am being baptized. It will take place towards the end of next month and I am inviting all my family, friends and acquaintances to join in celebrating with me. Because it is, in fact, something worth celebrating.
I have thought about taking this step for a long time. But I it was in the last month or two that I realized I truly wanted to go through with it. It hit me when I was reading in Matthew 4-5 about the life of Jesus. Although Jesus always knew who He was, who His God and Father was and what His destiny was to be, it wasn't until AFTER His baptism that His ministry began. I couldn't help but wonder if part of the reason why I have struggled with my own personal 'ministry' was that I wasn't willing to take part in that very first step, baptism. I have virtually always known who He is and what my destiny is to be (a vessel to be used by His love and gracious power). But, I have yet to be baptized as someone who understands what it means.
So, after 22 years of knowing Jesus Christ as my savior, I am choosing to allow Him to be my Lord. I am choosing to share in His baptism, to share in His death, and to share in His resurrection. And possibly most importantly, to proclaim to the world that I am fully committed to this God who is mighty to save. My hope is in Him. And although I have been unfaithful to Him with all of my 'wobbling' over the years, He is ever faithful. I want to joyfully proclaim this and share this sweet truth with the world.
"I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back. No turning back."
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