Today's Read: Psalm 139
"Oh Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise' you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in--- behind and before; you have laid your hands upon me..... Where can I go from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there..... For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well..... All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be..... Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
The work that I do requires not only my intellectual attention, but also my emotional and even spiritual attention. While most days this is a balancing act I can handle, there are times that it drains me. Today was one of those days. After a colossally terrible day at my job, I was ultimately exhausted on every level of my being. My heart was used up, poured out and beaten in the process. By the time the dust settled, I had nothing left and I had no choice but to come to Him; everything else of this world had left me empty. While being in this state of frustration is difficult and undesirable I praise God for it, because it brings me to my knees and back to him.
Today, I returned to a familiar Psalm and my heart was soothed. Psalm 139. This whole Psalm tells the love the Father has for me as displayed in his intimately thoughtful creation of every aspect of my soul. It also outlines my total inability to escape his presence. There are certainly times when I try to hide and escape the reach of God, due to my own fear and shame. However, today I am deeply comforted that no matter how alone and empty I feel, even if I think God has left me to take care of myself, His word assures me that no matter where I am, He is there. "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there." (v. 7-8).
I know the Lord has a good plan for me and nothing, therefore, is accidental. Jeremiah tells me that " I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jer. 29:11) The most difficult days in this life are often the easiest to feel as though God has forgotten me and has no regard for the well being of my heart. Reading verse 16 of Psalm 139 shows me otherwise. "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." It might be miserable to go through a day like I had today, but it most certainly is not an accident. There is a lot of freedom in that truth. Even when walking through the valleys of life, I can have peace in knowing that those days are just a stepping stone in His great plan for me. I might feel downtrodden and beaten, but His truth says that He is in control because He has planned even the valleys.
Lord Jesus, I praise you for the truth that no matter where I am, you are there. Thank you that I am never beyond your reach. Thank you for being in control. Forgive me for doubting that you are with me. I pray that I would joyfully walk in freedom knowing that you have ordained every moment of my existence. And, I praise you for being faithful and strong. Forgive me for being so easily exhausted.
Psalm 23:4 "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
John 8:36 "So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed"
Luke 12:7 "And, indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows."
