After spending most of my life with the Lord, I have seen certain patterns and cycles play out that reveal a lot about who I am, and also about who the Lord is in relation to me. Sometimes I feel as though I'm a dog on the leash with the Lord. I love my master and I want to obey, but inch by inch I slowly eek my way ahead of him and the pace he's got me going at. I want to go ahead, follow my nose and lead us down the path that I choose. But it is when I get to the end of that length of leash that I realize in going too far, I don't get to experience freedom, I just end up choking myself.
I'm not talking about sin patterns here. I'm more just talking about living life, thinking that you are heeling right by the Lord, when in reality, you are slowly inching away from him. One day you look up and realize that he's much farther away than you ever thought and really the only thing that brings you back to him is the fact that your straying has left you feeling tight and choked.
When this happens, I am brought not only to the end of my 'leash', but to the end of myself. And it is in these dead ends of spiritual exhaustion that I am reminded of and comforted by these words, "When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way." (Pslam 142:3)
I can aimlessly wander, but when I get to the end of myself- it is He who remains steadily walking on the same path that we started on. It is he who remains as I return.
And then, as I come back to walk in step with my master, I recant the words I have said a hundred times before: "Well Lord, here we are again- just you and me." At the end of the day, that's all it ever will be. Regardless of what family, friends and other relationships I have in my life- it is always just him. and. me. And I'm thankful for that. There is a tenderness and security in that which cannot be found in anything on this earth.
Thanking the Lord today that He is steadfast. That He walks the same path that He set out on an eternity ago. And praising Him that no matter how many times I get distracted and wander off- he is always, ALWAYS there, to welcome me home. How great is his love for us- for me!
Lord, you are so patient and tender with me. Thank you, that no matter what I do, how I forget you or how far I wander- you always wait for me. And thank you, that I can come back to walk in step with you, and find rest in knowing it's just you and me. Forever and always. You are so good to me.
