SAY UNCLE!!! (Holding onto God with a death grip)

Genesis 32:22-32

Let me preface today's entry with a disclaimer: I do not profess to fully understand the ways in which God works regarding blessing. I do not hold to the teachings of the prosperity gospel (i.e. the idea that God is Santa Claus and just wants to give you a bunch of 'stuff' to make life for you happy and comfortable.) It is my belief that God doesn't necessarily want us to be primarily happy, but HOLY. However, I do know that God offers blessing upon blessing to those he loves. In fact, a www.biblegateway.com search on the word 'bless' offered 388 findings! James 1:17 says that "Every good and perfect gift is from above." So, as you read today, please don't hear me say that God is at my mercy, being pulled with puppet strings to give me all my 'wants'. That is not what I am aiming to proclaim.

Now, onto today's good stuff.

I grew up in a home with two older brothers. Being the youngest and a girl, it only made perfect sense that I would be mercilessly harassed pretty much all the time. I have many, many memories of being pinned beneath the strong arms of one of the boys and being required to utter words acknowledging their supremacy over me. If I refused to say "Uncle!!", I remained a prisoner of their dominance. Sound familiar to anyone else?

I love, love this passage describing Jacob's struggle with God. First of all, how amazing is it that Jacob was allowed to physically wrestle with the God of the universe? Obviously, God could have overpowered him. But he allowed Jacob to exert all the strength that he could while letting Jacob [likely] feel like just maybe, it was somewhat of a fair match. Which, leads me to believe that maybe God just wanted to see how hard Jacob would try to invest himself in this struggle. Like, how much did Jacob care? Because, you've heard the saying that you can't hate someone you didn't love first. You can't have a vicious, violent argument with someone unless you have deep seeded emotion towards them.

When I came to verse 26 and read "I will not let you go unless you bless me." I thought, 'whoah- pretty bold words there, Jacob! Gettin' a little big for your britches, dontcha think?! How dare you demand such a thing from the Sovereign God?!' But you know what? God did exactly what Jacob asked!

I immediately began thinking about what blessing from God looks like. I know that I do not control God or force him to do as I please. I might 'wrestle' with him. But if for some reason, I do end up on top, with him pinned beneath me, it's only because he humored me enough to let me think I've got a leg up. Similar to running a 'race' with a toddler- as a grown adult you could destroy the kid in a matter of steps, but out of love for them, you let them keep pace with you and ultimately, surrender the win so the kid feels good about themselves. But everyone obviously knows, the toddler cannot actually win against you.

I also thought very much about what it looks and feels like to wrestle and revisited my childhood memories. And God reminded me: you cannot wrestle with someone you are not holding onto for dear life. If your grip is not a death grip- you are not wrestling at all. And in this section of scripture, why does it say God blessed Jacob? Because he struggled with God. This so encouraged me to keep up the faith, keep up the fight and HOLD ON for dear life. Struggles can sometimes be ugly, but you cannot, cannot let go- or you lose everything.

I do not know the specifics of what God can and will bless me with in this life. There are things I hope for, but don't necessarily feel as though He has promised them to me. But there is one thing I know, that I know, that I know that He has promised me with: HIMSELF. He has promised to be my portion, to be enough for me, always be with me, to never leave me or forget me.

After reading this scripture, I am choosing to continue struggling with God, to hold onto him with a death grip- shouting "But you promised!!!" and "I'm not letting go!".

While I will continue to ask my heavenly father for particular blessings, I know, in the deepest depths of my heart- that there is no blessing greater than the opportunity to know Him on an intimate level.

Oh Lord, forgive me for the moments where I begrudge you for having me struggle with you. And thank you for using the struggle to bless me. Thank you for giving me eyes to see that in the wrestling match, my prize is that I get to hold on to you for dear life. While I pray for your providence and your tangible blessings in my life, I pray that you would keep my heart rooted in the real prize: intimacy with you. Thank you for hearing me, loving me and never, ever forsaking me. I love you, Lord.

Romans 9:13 "Jacob I have loved...."

Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."

WHAT'S YOUR SONG?

Psalms 40

Come thou Fount of every blessing,

tune my heart to sing thy grace;

streams of mercy, never ceasing,

call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,

mount of thy redeeming love.

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and the mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."

The bible talks an awful lot about the things that come out of our mouth. There are far too many scriptures to reference in this short blog, but for starters, check out what James 3 has to say about the use of our mouth. It is with our mouth that we vent our frustrations, shout for joy at victory, quietly curse the driver in front of us, utter our prayers before God and, also, sing our praises to him.

Reading Psalm 40 verse 3 today, I was struck by the word new. Why did the pslamist need a new song? To say he was in need of a new song implies that he already had a song, but it was old and worn out. What was his song about? The 'new song' verse is preceded with mention of his life of despair. (The words 'slimy pit', 'mud' and 'mire' all paint this picture.) I can only imagine that the chorus to the old song was likely very "Woe is me♪♬". While God put a new song in his mouth that was "a hymn of praise to our God."

In light of this, I have no choice but to look at myself and examine what song song I am singing. Am I using my mouth to sing a song of frustration, complaining or even pitifully singing a "Woe is me" lullaby to myself? (All of which 'songs', I might add, are self-focused, not God-focused.) OR am I leaning on the Lord and allowing Him to put a new song in my mouth; a song of praise to him? If I continue to choose the former songs to sing, then Lord have mercy on me. For, "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45). If all I have to sing about is the woeful things that weigh on my heart and mind, then it's time for a sobering heart check.

My prayer today, for me and for you is that we prayerfully consider what is the 'abundance' of our hearts and then ask God to give us a new song, one that brings praise to him and sets our hearts' focus on who he is and what he has done.

Oh Lord, you are so merciful and so faithful. While I constantly turn back and turn inward, focusing on myself and groaning with self pity and complaint, Lord- you are so faithful to replace my muddiness with the beautiful songs of your praise. Lord, be not far from me today as I cling to you to give me songs of joy, peace and praise to you. Let me sing a song of adoration, with my gaze fixed firmly on you.

Hebrews 12:2 "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." (NIV)

Proverbs 23:7 "For as a man thinketh within himself, so is he...." (ASV)

Psalm 32:7 "You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance."

I adore old hymns and this one is one of my favorites. Please have a listen..... Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.