Tonight's Read: Matthew ch. 25 and Mark ch. 1-3
As I have written before, I am still learning how to live a life yielded to the Holy Spirit. I suppose this learning will be a life long process. Since the desire of my heart is to have closeness with the Lord and to honor Him, I have a huge task before me. I have never been a 'legalistic' christian. In fact, I probably could have described myself in the past as completely the opposite, a 'grace abuser', if you will. Since I have decided to give up on my life for myself and live His life for me, I have noticed a shift in myself. For one thing, the desire to honor Him has become much more complete. On the flipside, however, I have sensed myself struggling with a spirit of legalism. I don't mean the type of legalism where I justify indulging in certain sins while behaving saintly regarding others. I mean more of feeling guilty to do everything 'right', to the point of overthinking many of my actions. After all, Jesus himself said "If you love me, you will obey what I command" (John 14:15). When you think about that short verse, it's pretty intimidating!
When I read in Mark tonight, I noticed that in Jesus' ministry, the first person to proclaim Jesus as the messiah was a demon! (Mark 1:24) This was so startling for me. It reminded me of James 2:19 that says "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." What this spoke to me was that it is simply not enough to 'know' and 'love' God in your heart-- you must do something with those thoughts and feelings. Although there have been many things that kept me at a pace of crawling in my walk with the Lord, one thing that allowed me to stumble so consistently is that I was relying on my 'feelings' of love for the Lord to be enough to make me walk. The truth is, that is simply not enough. I heard a quote long ago that has really stuck with me that says "Love the feeling is a fruit of love the verb." I realize now that my 'feeling' of love was likely so inconsistent in intensity and devotion because I almost entirely lacked my use of love the 'verb'.
So what now then? Like I said, I am struggling somewhat with this spirit of legalism because I want to exercise this verb of love by 'doing what [He] commands'. He tells us how to exercise our love verbs in Matthew 25 (v. 35-36). But I don't want to do these things just to do them. I want to do them with my love for Him in my heart. I want to learn how to love others in action as He did and as He commands us to. When He talks about these things in Matthew, there is no mention of loving people by pointing out their sins, or waiting for them to be polite, demanding that they contribute of their talents and resources, or you name it. The way He tells us to love is with no strings attached. Not to 'love if they______' (insert anything you wish in the blank.) He implies that we are to love for love's sake. We are to love because He loves. We are to love because He loved us first. And, most importantly, He loved us by doing, not by feeling.
This is certainly something that I cannot do on my own. I cannot love people who I don't feel deserve it. I cannot love people who are difficult or emotionally unavailable. I cannot. But He can, through me. So, I suppose, my act of love is to simply be a vessel for His love to sail through. This is definitely something that I must carry in prayer if I want to exercise my verb of love.
Lord, teach me to continue to yield my spirit to you so that I don't do things out my own will, but out of the power of your loving spirit. The greatest thing that you have given me is love. So, please, teach me to be obedient by teaching me to love. Give me a heart like yours--- a heart of love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
MINE ALL MINE
Tonight's Read: Song of Songs
As I read God's word tonight, I read it as a love letter to me. Not a generic letter to the world, but a specific letter to me. What a beautiful love story! I am learning how to trust this God who I have heard about all my life; this God who waited patiently for me while I rebelled against Him by selfishly indulging in my own desires for my life. I have tried my way and I have been left with destruction that runs so deep that I will always have scars that remain. He has been gently tending to these wounds of mine for some time now. Even while I was trying to self medicate with a laundry list of destructive and fruitless efforts, He was still there, unbeknownst to me. The reality is, while I can learn to trust Him to heal these wounds in my heart that are a result of my own selfish rebellion, I will have scars to bear even after the healing. But there is so much beauty in knowing that He bears scars as well.
I have long wanted to fully know the 'the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:39) But I filled my heart with so many things, worthless things, that there was no room left for the love that He offers. In order for me to take hold of His great love for me, I first had to be willing to empty out all the other stuff that was residing in what should be His place---my heart. When I read Song of Songs tonight, I heard His whispers, or rather, shouts, of love to me. These verses ripple into the eternity of my heart "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!" (1:15) and "Arise my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me." (2:10)
What I'm hearing the Lord speak to me is this: "Don't you know that I have always loved you? You are precious and perfect to me. I long to have you near to me. Come with me now, waste no time, and come to be with me." My heart simultaneously leaps for joy and brims with fulfillment at hearing the God of the Universe speak this love poem into my spirit. He pays no mind to my rebellious past or my forever scars. He insists that I waste no time and worry about nothing, but only to come to Him without regard for anything else.
This love, this lover, this love letter-- is mine. I find so much beauty in the tenderness of this truth. Yes, 'God so loved the world' (John 3:16). But, what this means though, is that God loved me. One tough thing about His love for me, for us, is that it is intangible and invisible. I cannot capture a photograph of it to share with someone who doesn't know Him and His love. It must be experienced to be understood. But, man oh man, how sweet His love is, truly.
If I could tell the world one thing and one thing only, it would be this: "Please, I beg of you, come near to this gentle lover. You will never believe His love for you. Please, come taste and see that He is good."
Psalm 34:8 "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."
Sweet Lord, thank you that your love is mine. Thank you that your love is so great that there is enough for the whole world and still enough left over for me. Your love is so sweet and brings me so much joy and peace. I praise you for that. I pray Lord, that I can be used as a reflection of your love to people in this world who do not yet know how you love them, too.
As I read God's word tonight, I read it as a love letter to me. Not a generic letter to the world, but a specific letter to me. What a beautiful love story! I am learning how to trust this God who I have heard about all my life; this God who waited patiently for me while I rebelled against Him by selfishly indulging in my own desires for my life. I have tried my way and I have been left with destruction that runs so deep that I will always have scars that remain. He has been gently tending to these wounds of mine for some time now. Even while I was trying to self medicate with a laundry list of destructive and fruitless efforts, He was still there, unbeknownst to me. The reality is, while I can learn to trust Him to heal these wounds in my heart that are a result of my own selfish rebellion, I will have scars to bear even after the healing. But there is so much beauty in knowing that He bears scars as well.
I have long wanted to fully know the 'the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:39) But I filled my heart with so many things, worthless things, that there was no room left for the love that He offers. In order for me to take hold of His great love for me, I first had to be willing to empty out all the other stuff that was residing in what should be His place---my heart. When I read Song of Songs tonight, I heard His whispers, or rather, shouts, of love to me. These verses ripple into the eternity of my heart "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!" (1:15) and "Arise my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me." (2:10)
What I'm hearing the Lord speak to me is this: "Don't you know that I have always loved you? You are precious and perfect to me. I long to have you near to me. Come with me now, waste no time, and come to be with me." My heart simultaneously leaps for joy and brims with fulfillment at hearing the God of the Universe speak this love poem into my spirit. He pays no mind to my rebellious past or my forever scars. He insists that I waste no time and worry about nothing, but only to come to Him without regard for anything else.
This love, this lover, this love letter-- is mine. I find so much beauty in the tenderness of this truth. Yes, 'God so loved the world' (John 3:16). But, what this means though, is that God loved me. One tough thing about His love for me, for us, is that it is intangible and invisible. I cannot capture a photograph of it to share with someone who doesn't know Him and His love. It must be experienced to be understood. But, man oh man, how sweet His love is, truly.
If I could tell the world one thing and one thing only, it would be this: "Please, I beg of you, come near to this gentle lover. You will never believe His love for you. Please, come taste and see that He is good."
Psalm 34:8 "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."
Sweet Lord, thank you that your love is mine. Thank you that your love is so great that there is enough for the whole world and still enough left over for me. Your love is so sweet and brings me so much joy and peace. I praise you for that. I pray Lord, that I can be used as a reflection of your love to people in this world who do not yet know how you love them, too.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
THE GOD I NEVER KNEW
Tonight's Read: Isaiah 43
I know that the bible calls us to be God's mouthpiece into the world. As believers, we have a responsibility to share with the hopeless the hope that we have in our Savior. I will be the first to admit that I am far from a model 'witness'. Not only have I not actively pursued opportunities to share my God with people that don't truly know him, but I also have run from the opportunities when they were presented to me.
I have known the Lord for twenty years. Well, I should probably do a little backtracking on that statement. For twenty years, I have acknowledged in my heart that the triune God is my savior. I have known who He is. However, my relationship with Him could be described as broken, weak and inconsistent for many of my years. It is only until the most recent times of my life that I have begun to really know Him personally. For example, I grew up knowing that God loved me. I never questioned it. But in the depths of my heart, I believed the kind of affection he had for me was similar to the kind of affection that a mother turtle might have for one of her hundreds of eggs. Sure, she birthed them and wants them to fare well in life. But it's just a part of life that as soon as she lays her eggs, she buries them in the sand and then departs from them to go on about the rest of her days. It's not that she doesn't care for them, but it's certainly not the same kind of affection that a human mother has for her offspring. My understanding of God loving me in this way could not be farther from the truth of who He is!
Since trusting the Lord fully to be who He says He is to me, He has graciously revealed to me how wrong I was about Him! I am not one of hundreds that he will bury and abandon. I am one that he 'created...formed...redeemed....summoned...ransomed' (Isaiah ch. 43) and I am 'precious and honored in [His] sight and because [He] loves me, will give men in exchange for my life' (v.4). Reading what His word says about His affection for me is in stark opposition to my assumption that He loves me like a turtle. His book, His word tells me that I am infinitely valuable and He treasures me because He chose me!
I used to think that the reason I felt so inadequate to witness to the lost was because I lead a life that had sinfulness in it and didn't want to appear hypocritical and as a result, hurt the kingdom. But I realize now, that the reason I couldn't share with people about my God is because I really didn't truly know Him. Hallelujah that He has been patient, faithful and gracious enough to open the eyes of my heart to understand the truth of His heart for me. Not only do I now feel like I might be able to share His love with someone who didn't know, but I feel so excited at the thought of the opportunity to spread the good news. It's like the light bulb has finally come on and I 'get it'. What a truly wonderful thing to understand--- who this God of love is to me.
Zephania 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
I know that the bible calls us to be God's mouthpiece into the world. As believers, we have a responsibility to share with the hopeless the hope that we have in our Savior. I will be the first to admit that I am far from a model 'witness'. Not only have I not actively pursued opportunities to share my God with people that don't truly know him, but I also have run from the opportunities when they were presented to me.
I have known the Lord for twenty years. Well, I should probably do a little backtracking on that statement. For twenty years, I have acknowledged in my heart that the triune God is my savior. I have known who He is. However, my relationship with Him could be described as broken, weak and inconsistent for many of my years. It is only until the most recent times of my life that I have begun to really know Him personally. For example, I grew up knowing that God loved me. I never questioned it. But in the depths of my heart, I believed the kind of affection he had for me was similar to the kind of affection that a mother turtle might have for one of her hundreds of eggs. Sure, she birthed them and wants them to fare well in life. But it's just a part of life that as soon as she lays her eggs, she buries them in the sand and then departs from them to go on about the rest of her days. It's not that she doesn't care for them, but it's certainly not the same kind of affection that a human mother has for her offspring. My understanding of God loving me in this way could not be farther from the truth of who He is!
Since trusting the Lord fully to be who He says He is to me, He has graciously revealed to me how wrong I was about Him! I am not one of hundreds that he will bury and abandon. I am one that he 'created...formed...redeemed....summoned...ransomed' (Isaiah ch. 43) and I am 'precious and honored in [His] sight and because [He] loves me, will give men in exchange for my life' (v.4). Reading what His word says about His affection for me is in stark opposition to my assumption that He loves me like a turtle. His book, His word tells me that I am infinitely valuable and He treasures me because He chose me!
I used to think that the reason I felt so inadequate to witness to the lost was because I lead a life that had sinfulness in it and didn't want to appear hypocritical and as a result, hurt the kingdom. But I realize now, that the reason I couldn't share with people about my God is because I really didn't truly know Him. Hallelujah that He has been patient, faithful and gracious enough to open the eyes of my heart to understand the truth of His heart for me. Not only do I now feel like I might be able to share His love with someone who didn't know, but I feel so excited at the thought of the opportunity to spread the good news. It's like the light bulb has finally come on and I 'get it'. What a truly wonderful thing to understand--- who this God of love is to me.
Zephania 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
AREN'T WE ALL PRODIGALS?
Today's Read: Luke 15In this chapter of Luke, there are three short stories that share the same theme. In each story, something very valuable is lost and then eventually recovered. In the first story, there is a shepherd who loses a sheep. In the second story, a woman who has ten coins loses one of them. And the final story is of the prodigal son. These three stories not only share the aspect of something being lost and then found again, they also all tell of the considerable joy of the finder. It is one thing for something misplaced or forgotten to be merely stumbled upon again at a later time. But for the finder to have complete joy in the finding reveals the true value of what had been lost.
It is easy to think of the story of the prodigal and think that he represents someone other than yourself. It is easy to think 'Well, I have not squandered my inheritance. Nor have I lived a life of utter sinful rebellion as he did, so surely, the prodigal is not me.' When I read this this story again tonight though, I realized that I actually am the prodigal son, the lost son. When I first accepted Jesus Christ as my savior was when I was given my inheritance of grace. And for many years after that that I have chosen to walk with one foot in His kingdom and one foot in mine; I have been a glutton for His grace. I have selfishly and foolishly leeched out so much of his graciousness toward me without responding in an appropriate, thankfully respectful manner. Basically, he paid me for doing no work. He gave me an unbelievable inheritance that I indulged on without ever acting like I was his son, who might have been worthy of an inheritance. So yes, I am the prodigal son. Until we are walking in complete submission to His glory and holiness, we are all prodigal sons.
Since I have chosen to return to my father with the same cry of the prodigal "'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son." (v. 21) I have been so very humbled by His warm welcome of my coming home. I have recently been in the midst of difficult circumstances that have been painful to wade through, yet in the midst of my sorrow, I have had a sense of joy. I couldn't quite understand why I had the joy until I remembered the joy of the finder in each of these three stories. He is so full of rejoicing, joyfulness, gladness and celebration over my return to Him that His joy flows over into my heart.
Gracious Father, you are so good. I am not worthy of the celebration that you prepare at my homecoming. But, I will worship you for your generous gift of grace, my inheritance.
Job 8:21 "He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy."
Monday, July 13, 2009
WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS
Monday, July 13, 2009
Tonight's Read: Luke 11:1-44
"What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged--
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer."
In this story, the raising of Lazarus from the dead, there are several things to learn about Jesus and who God really is. The first, and most obvious thing to recognize is the magnificence of God's power through the work of this miracle. Lazarus was dead, not dying, not sick. He was dead, and had been for some time. Verse 17 tells us that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Jesus walks up to the tomb and speaks 'Lazarus, come out!" (v.43). He doesn't even touch the man! He simply speaks, and the man who has been dead for days rises with no pause. I think if I had been there, I would have fainted at the sight of all this. This God, my God, is amazing.
What is even more profound though, is that even though the Lord is all powerful and completely sovereign, he chooses to love me. In fact, Jesus shows us here that He loves us in a way that is very human, very real, and very easy for me personally to relate to. Consider the order of events in this story:
-First, Lazarus is on his deathbed, so his sisters send for Jesus to come back into the town where they live to heal him before his imminent death.
- Next, much to the dismay of His disciples, Jesus chooses to stay where he was for two more days, even though everyone knew that Lazarus would surely be dead before Jesus could reach him if he spared any time.
- After that, Lazarus dies and his sisters prepare him for burial and place him in the tomb. In their minds, I'm sure, they believed it was finished. And they mourned.
- Now, during this time, Jesus had already told all the people that this would 'not end in death' even though Lazarus had 'fallen asleep'. Jesus already KNEW that he need not mourn for his friend, because he knew that Lazarus would rise at His command.
- Finally, even though Jesus already knows the work that He is going to do in Lazarus, and has no need for mourning of him, he deeply empathizes with Mary and Martha, Lazarus' sisters. In fact, Jesus was moved to tears. John tells us that "Jesus wept." (v.35) I don't believe He was weeping in a mournful way, for He knew that Lazarus would be with them again in moments. He wept because He loved the sisters so much and truly carried the burdens of their hearts in His.
What does this all tell me? Jesus knew all along that he need not mourn for His friend Lazarus. He knew that Lazarus would not remain dead, because He knew of the miracle He would preform when He reached Lazarus' tomb in Bethany. Yet, when faced with Lazarus' grieving sisters, Jesus was so overcome with compassion and empathy, that he was moved to weeping. I have many friends who will support me through hard times and who genuinely care for me if I'm hurting. However, I find it difficult to think of many friends that are so in sync with my heart that they would be moved to weeping for my hurts. The bible doesn't tell us that Jesus 'teared up' or that He 'felt for them' or 'was thinking about them in their loss'. The bible tells us that he 'wept'. I don't believe I have friends that would 'weep' for me. Oh wait, I suppose I can think of one :)
Sweet Lord Jesus, you are a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I am continually amazed that although you are wholly God, you chose to love me, and, you choose to be my friend. Thank you for the sweetest friendship I'll ever be a part of! Amen.
Tonight's Read: Luke 11:1-44
"What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged--
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer."
In this story, the raising of Lazarus from the dead, there are several things to learn about Jesus and who God really is. The first, and most obvious thing to recognize is the magnificence of God's power through the work of this miracle. Lazarus was dead, not dying, not sick. He was dead, and had been for some time. Verse 17 tells us that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Jesus walks up to the tomb and speaks 'Lazarus, come out!" (v.43). He doesn't even touch the man! He simply speaks, and the man who has been dead for days rises with no pause. I think if I had been there, I would have fainted at the sight of all this. This God, my God, is amazing.
What is even more profound though, is that even though the Lord is all powerful and completely sovereign, he chooses to love me. In fact, Jesus shows us here that He loves us in a way that is very human, very real, and very easy for me personally to relate to. Consider the order of events in this story:
-First, Lazarus is on his deathbed, so his sisters send for Jesus to come back into the town where they live to heal him before his imminent death.
- Next, much to the dismay of His disciples, Jesus chooses to stay where he was for two more days, even though everyone knew that Lazarus would surely be dead before Jesus could reach him if he spared any time.
- After that, Lazarus dies and his sisters prepare him for burial and place him in the tomb. In their minds, I'm sure, they believed it was finished. And they mourned.
- Now, during this time, Jesus had already told all the people that this would 'not end in death' even though Lazarus had 'fallen asleep'. Jesus already KNEW that he need not mourn for his friend, because he knew that Lazarus would rise at His command.
- Finally, even though Jesus already knows the work that He is going to do in Lazarus, and has no need for mourning of him, he deeply empathizes with Mary and Martha, Lazarus' sisters. In fact, Jesus was moved to tears. John tells us that "Jesus wept." (v.35) I don't believe He was weeping in a mournful way, for He knew that Lazarus would be with them again in moments. He wept because He loved the sisters so much and truly carried the burdens of their hearts in His.
What does this all tell me? Jesus knew all along that he need not mourn for His friend Lazarus. He knew that Lazarus would not remain dead, because He knew of the miracle He would preform when He reached Lazarus' tomb in Bethany. Yet, when faced with Lazarus' grieving sisters, Jesus was so overcome with compassion and empathy, that he was moved to weeping. I have many friends who will support me through hard times and who genuinely care for me if I'm hurting. However, I find it difficult to think of many friends that are so in sync with my heart that they would be moved to weeping for my hurts. The bible doesn't tell us that Jesus 'teared up' or that He 'felt for them' or 'was thinking about them in their loss'. The bible tells us that he 'wept'. I don't believe I have friends that would 'weep' for me. Oh wait, I suppose I can think of one :)
Sweet Lord Jesus, you are a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I am continually amazed that although you are wholly God, you chose to love me, and, you choose to be my friend. Thank you for the sweetest friendship I'll ever be a part of! Amen.
THE GREATEST COMMANDMENT
Monday, July 13, 2009
Today's Read: Psalms 90-93
To me, Psalms is quite possibly the most beautiful book in the bible. In the new testament, we are told that the greatest of all commandments is 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' (Matthew 22:37). For myself, this has always been easier said than done. Obedience, following conviction, 'running the good race'; these are all much easier things to do, when it comes down to it. All these things that we are asked to do require mostly discipline and a certain amount of faith. But how do you possibly follow this, the greatest of all commandments? After all, our hearts can only be spent on so many things, and if we give the largest portion to our Lord, what is there that's left for the rest of the world, for our families, for our coworkers and friends, for the lost? Or more frankly, for ourselves? Even if we can get to a point of faith where we desire obedience to the Lord in this greatest commandment, it is impossible for us to complete this task on our own.
Thus, intro Psalms. To me, Psalms has always been the easiest book of the bible to read, because I see so much of myself and my life in it. I see my heart's reflection in the soul of someone who struggles with the constant uphill battle that is finding peace in this world. I see myself in the authors who cry out to the Lord in their pain. The Psalms are so easy to relate to, because they are a picture of every man.
Even more beautiful than seeing my own reflection in the Psalms though, is seeing a glimpse of the true nature of who God is. Seeing a picture of the sovereign God next to a reflection of my own finite soul is so incredibly humbling. I cannot help but recognize with a worshipful heart, that this God is AWEsome. In fact, when I think about trying to speak to Him after seeing Him in His true nature through today's reading, I am left with nothing to say. My heart is swollen and my lips are empty. I am in awe.
Reading the Psalms shows me who God is. They reveal to me the person whom I am commanded to be madly in love with. When I truly see this person, this God, I cannot help but become overwhelmed with affection and adoration for Him. Then, following this greatest commandment no longer feels like a task to complete, but a treasure to cherish.
Gracious Beautiful Father,
It amazes me that though I am so insignificant, you choose to let me in the truth of who you are. I praise you for humbling me enough to reveal to me yourself. Although I know I am not worthy, Lord, I know that you CHOSE me! Hallelujah for the beauty of your plans! Hallelujah for the beauty and Majesty of who you are.
Psalm 92:4 "For you make me glad by your deeds, O LORD; I sing for joy at the works of your hands."
Today's Read: Psalms 90-93
To me, Psalms is quite possibly the most beautiful book in the bible. In the new testament, we are told that the greatest of all commandments is 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' (Matthew 22:37). For myself, this has always been easier said than done. Obedience, following conviction, 'running the good race'; these are all much easier things to do, when it comes down to it. All these things that we are asked to do require mostly discipline and a certain amount of faith. But how do you possibly follow this, the greatest of all commandments? After all, our hearts can only be spent on so many things, and if we give the largest portion to our Lord, what is there that's left for the rest of the world, for our families, for our coworkers and friends, for the lost? Or more frankly, for ourselves? Even if we can get to a point of faith where we desire obedience to the Lord in this greatest commandment, it is impossible for us to complete this task on our own.
Thus, intro Psalms. To me, Psalms has always been the easiest book of the bible to read, because I see so much of myself and my life in it. I see my heart's reflection in the soul of someone who struggles with the constant uphill battle that is finding peace in this world. I see myself in the authors who cry out to the Lord in their pain. The Psalms are so easy to relate to, because they are a picture of every man.
Even more beautiful than seeing my own reflection in the Psalms though, is seeing a glimpse of the true nature of who God is. Seeing a picture of the sovereign God next to a reflection of my own finite soul is so incredibly humbling. I cannot help but recognize with a worshipful heart, that this God is AWEsome. In fact, when I think about trying to speak to Him after seeing Him in His true nature through today's reading, I am left with nothing to say. My heart is swollen and my lips are empty. I am in awe.
Reading the Psalms shows me who God is. They reveal to me the person whom I am commanded to be madly in love with. When I truly see this person, this God, I cannot help but become overwhelmed with affection and adoration for Him. Then, following this greatest commandment no longer feels like a task to complete, but a treasure to cherish.
Gracious Beautiful Father,
It amazes me that though I am so insignificant, you choose to let me in the truth of who you are. I praise you for humbling me enough to reveal to me yourself. Although I know I am not worthy, Lord, I know that you CHOSE me! Hallelujah for the beauty of your plans! Hallelujah for the beauty and Majesty of who you are.
Psalm 92:4 "For you make me glad by your deeds, O LORD; I sing for joy at the works of your hands."
MY STORY: PART I
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
It has been a simultaneously refreshing and challenging last few weeks. The Lord has been pulling on my heart in a multitude of ways. While His call looks different in many ways, the message of His word to me has a heavy common theme: come closer.
I have been a ‘christian’ for basically all my life. I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was only five years old at Vacation Bible School at Trinity New Life Fellowship Church in Arlington, Texas.
I remember very clearly listening to the gentle story of who Jesus was and how He wanted to be my friend, in the utmost sense of the word. The understanding I was able to have was small, but so profound. I knew who Jesus was. I didn’t even know yet who I was. But I knew I needed Jesus to be my friend. To hold my hand, to care for me and protect me. To be my best friend. I knew I needed Jesus. That evening, I prayed with both of my parents, laying on their brown quilted bedspread, and invited this Jesus to come and live in my heart and be my best friend.
There are millions of people wandering through this life that share a very similar story with me. People who become christians at a young age, try to be good and keep God in mind as they grow, wander away as soon as they face any real kind of temptation, and then flounder in the face of the world as they continually hesitate becoming who God truly set them apart to be. The journey of my life has been very easy, on anyone’s terms. I have a wonderful, loving, functional family. I have never been anything but loved and accepted completely by my family and friends. I have found success easily in school and beyond into the professional world. So, the reasoning for my utter mediocrity as a christian, as a child of God, is puzzling to me. I don’t have the excuse of life being cruel to me and then in turn, me equating uncomfortable circumstances to the existence of an apathetic, or worse, a cruel God. Life has been generally comfortable and blessed for me. So what reason is there that I run and hide from the God who has blessed me so greatly? Why not run to Him and thank Him for my life of abundance?
It has been a simultaneously refreshing and challenging last few weeks. The Lord has been pulling on my heart in a multitude of ways. While His call looks different in many ways, the message of His word to me has a heavy common theme: come closer.
I have been a ‘christian’ for basically all my life. I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was only five years old at Vacation Bible School at Trinity New Life Fellowship Church in Arlington, Texas.
I remember very clearly listening to the gentle story of who Jesus was and how He wanted to be my friend, in the utmost sense of the word. The understanding I was able to have was small, but so profound. I knew who Jesus was. I didn’t even know yet who I was. But I knew I needed Jesus to be my friend. To hold my hand, to care for me and protect me. To be my best friend. I knew I needed Jesus. That evening, I prayed with both of my parents, laying on their brown quilted bedspread, and invited this Jesus to come and live in my heart and be my best friend.
There are millions of people wandering through this life that share a very similar story with me. People who become christians at a young age, try to be good and keep God in mind as they grow, wander away as soon as they face any real kind of temptation, and then flounder in the face of the world as they continually hesitate becoming who God truly set them apart to be. The journey of my life has been very easy, on anyone’s terms. I have a wonderful, loving, functional family. I have never been anything but loved and accepted completely by my family and friends. I have found success easily in school and beyond into the professional world. So, the reasoning for my utter mediocrity as a christian, as a child of God, is puzzling to me. I don’t have the excuse of life being cruel to me and then in turn, me equating uncomfortable circumstances to the existence of an apathetic, or worse, a cruel God. Life has been generally comfortable and blessed for me. So what reason is there that I run and hide from the God who has blessed me so greatly? Why not run to Him and thank Him for my life of abundance?
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