John 2:4 " 'My dear woman, why do you involve me?' Jesus replied. 'My time has not yet come.'"
"In the beginning was the Word, and Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him, nothing was made that has been made." (John 1:1-3)
Here, 'The Word' = Jesus, the diety, the son of the Trinity. Jesus, the Word, has been around since before the beginning of time. And, all that time, Jesus was, and is, God. Time is a funny thing. A minute feels like a year when you are anxious; when joyful, a year feels like a minute. I am bound by time that seems to constantly change shape depending on my circumstances. And when I feel as though I'm waiting on my turn for the next steps in my life, time. just. seems. to. d r a g. In the selfish pride of my flesh, I feel above the need to wait. I feel as though, if I am destined for something; be it a job, a relationship, a new home or car- then of course, I must deserve it now rather than later. I feel certain that I am not alone in this feeling of entitlement.
Jesus was 30 years old before he began his earthly ministry. Jesus, the God-man himself who was around before we could fathom the idea of time, walked this earth for 30 years in waiting. He knew of his destiny and his ministry before he was conceived in Mary's womb. He knew of it as a young boy, sitting at the feet of the rabbis in the temple. He knew of it as a young man as he trained to be a carpenter. And yet, even still, when his mother called him to use his divine power to act, he responded with "My time has not yet come." Even though he knew what his purpose and his plan was, he still had to wait. God had to wait!!
What do you feel you're waiting on?
Are you waiting with anxiety as you pace around in circles in your heart until the time comes?
Are you waiting with an indignant heart that feels you deserve more than this seemingly useless time on the sidelines?
OR
Are you waiting, in perfect peace, on the Lord, who is both sovereign and good?
I must confess that I often do not wait very well. Most of the time, I wait anxiously, with fear that my time will never come. My prayer, is that I will wait, not on my next circumstances to finally arrive. Rather, that I will wait, spending my time sitting at the feet of the Lord, simply resting in his presence. I pray that he will use my time on the sidelines not as a time to continually shout "Put me in, coach! I'm ready! Put me in-- I know I can play!", but as a time that I study the skills of those on the field, to focus in on the wisdom and leading of the coach--- basically, that I use my time of preparation to actually prepare. And regardless of whether or not I ever get to play, I will know that God is still good.
Lord, thank you for the example you've given me in Jesus. When I need to grow in humility, please reveal to me the pride of my heart that feels entitled to be blessed with a next step, even though you have called me to wait. You are good and what you do is good. Teach me to wait on YOU.
Psalm 27.14 "Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
Psalm 130:5-6 "I wait for the Lord, m soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning."
Isaiah 26:8 "Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts."
Isaiah 30:18 "Yes the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!"
Isaiah 64:4 "Since the ancient times no one has heard, no ear had perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him."
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
STAND FIRM!
Verse: 2 Thessalonians 2:15 "So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by mouth or letter."
What are the teachings passed on to you? Some teachings we get from our upbringing, some from our culture, some from hard life lessons, some from the pulpit. I encourage you to be still, or as the NASB bible says 'cease striving' (Psalm 46:10) and ponder the 'teachings' the Lord has spoken to your heart. When I read this verse, the Lord used it to empower me with his Spirit to hold fast to all the things that his scripture, his heart, and his voice have taught me. In response to this, I wrote out a list of things that He has called me to 'stand firm' in. Read over mine, and then I encourage you to make a list of your own. Regardless of the whether the content of our lists is the same, we both know that you have plenty to put on your list. The Lord calls all of us to general things (love your neighbor as yourself, etc) but he also speaks specific things to each one of us. Listen to what he has said in your heart, what has at one point or another been in your gut and in in your spirit and STAND FIRM, by the power of the Holy Spirit ("which is not a spirit of fear, but of love, of power and of self control" 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT)
God has said to me, Bethany:
STAND FIRM on his promise to be enough. (Psalm 73:25-26)
STAND FIRM on the work he has already done to set my heart free. (Psalm 119:32)
STAND FIRM on the truth that he won't let me fall or let me go. (Psalm 37:23-24, Genesis 28:15)
STAND FIRM on the truth that he's always with you. (Hebrews 13:5)
STAND FIRM on the power of his Holy Spirit to strengthen you- to take your thoughts captive and submit them to him. (2 Corinthians 10:4-6)
STAND FIRM on his call to obedience in purity, righteousness, diligence and discipline. (1 Timothy 4:12, Ephesians 4:1, 1 Timothy 4:7-8, Hebrews 12:1)
STAND FIRM on HIM-- He is your stable refuge in this constantly wavering world (Psalm 18:2)
Thank you Lord that you are faithful to speak these things specifically to me. You love me enough to call me directly by name. And Lord, thank you for the truth, that if you call, you will be faithful to supply my need to do what you have asked of me. You are good and you are faithful. I will trust you as you call me to stand firm in your calls to obedience. I love you, Lord.
What are the teachings passed on to you? Some teachings we get from our upbringing, some from our culture, some from hard life lessons, some from the pulpit. I encourage you to be still, or as the NASB bible says 'cease striving' (Psalm 46:10) and ponder the 'teachings' the Lord has spoken to your heart. When I read this verse, the Lord used it to empower me with his Spirit to hold fast to all the things that his scripture, his heart, and his voice have taught me. In response to this, I wrote out a list of things that He has called me to 'stand firm' in. Read over mine, and then I encourage you to make a list of your own. Regardless of the whether the content of our lists is the same, we both know that you have plenty to put on your list. The Lord calls all of us to general things (love your neighbor as yourself, etc) but he also speaks specific things to each one of us. Listen to what he has said in your heart, what has at one point or another been in your gut and in in your spirit and STAND FIRM, by the power of the Holy Spirit ("which is not a spirit of fear, but of love, of power and of self control" 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT)
God has said to me, Bethany:
STAND FIRM on his promise to be enough. (Psalm 73:25-26)
STAND FIRM on the work he has already done to set my heart free. (Psalm 119:32)
STAND FIRM on the truth that he won't let me fall or let me go. (Psalm 37:23-24, Genesis 28:15)
STAND FIRM on the truth that he's always with you. (Hebrews 13:5)
STAND FIRM on the power of his Holy Spirit to strengthen you- to take your thoughts captive and submit them to him. (2 Corinthians 10:4-6)
STAND FIRM on his call to obedience in purity, righteousness, diligence and discipline. (1 Timothy 4:12, Ephesians 4:1, 1 Timothy 4:7-8, Hebrews 12:1)
STAND FIRM on HIM-- He is your stable refuge in this constantly wavering world (Psalm 18:2)
Thank you Lord that you are faithful to speak these things specifically to me. You love me enough to call me directly by name. And Lord, thank you for the truth, that if you call, you will be faithful to supply my need to do what you have asked of me. You are good and you are faithful. I will trust you as you call me to stand firm in your calls to obedience. I love you, Lord.
BEING KNOWN
Since I have been a christian virtually all my life, (even if at times only in profession, rather than relationship and action) I have pursued knowing God for most of my life. Since I have an understanding about who God is, what his word says and general principles about how he operates, I have felt, for a long time, that I have 'known' God. While this is true that I know him, I am realizing now that there are so many more layers to the depths of knowledge of him. As I write this even now, I think about people that I 'know': I 'know' the guy who lives two doors down from me-- we say hello when we pass by in the morning. I 'know' my boss at work, we talk everyday. I 'know' my pastor at church- although we have only spoken face to face once. I 'know' my best friend since elementary school. I 'know' my brothers, sister and parents. And, I 'know' myself. Lots of different ways to 'know' someone, right? I'm learning now, that relationship with God isn't about 'knowing' him as we are used to knowing people. What God is teaching me today, is that they only way I can know him (beyond the way I 'know' my neighbor and my boss) is in being known by him.
Picture a 90 year old woman who is an invalid. She must be spoon fed, she must be dressed by someone, she must be pushed around in a wheelchair, she must even be bathed, completey naked, by another person--- she is incapable of doing any of these things for herself. Picture now, that I am that invalid old woman. The Lord, in his tenderness, is showing me, that even in my most simple of needs, I am incapable of caring for myself. I cannot feed myself, he must. I cannot direct my own 'steps' in my wheelchair, he must guide and propel me. And, as much as I resist and dislike being completely bare naked before him to get my bath-- there is an unbelievably sweet comfort in doing so. With the precision with which feeds me, the careful care he takes in guiding me, and the tender respect with which he bathes me, in my utter nakedness, I KNOW that he loves me. It's in being bare before him, with him seeing all, knowing all, and doing all that I can know his heart for me. He cares for me tenderly because he loves me. In my infirmities and the needs they cause, it is HE who cares for me. When I am too weak to pick up my spoon and feed myself, it is He who feeds me. When I am too frail to stand from my wheelchair, it is He who carries me into the bed. It is HE who meets all my needs and is with me every moment awaiting readily. He knows my every need and exactly the moment I need it. I've never known a love so sweet. I've never known my Lord so well. And the sweetest part is, this is only the beginning! He has all of eternity to show me more and more of who he is. My lesson today? Just let go, get undressed and get in the tub. He loves me enough for it to be ok. That's the Jesus I know.
Lord, there is so much peace in comfort in being known. Your word says you have searched me and you know me. You know all my ways, all my thoughts, all my actions even before they are. And yet, you still love me. I cannot fathom your love for me. But, I know that it is true, and it is for me. Thank you, sweet Jesus, my savior and king, that you love me with such a complete tenderness. You are the lover of my soul. I am so glad that I am yours.
VIDEO/SONG: "Psalm 139 (You are there)" by Mercy Me
Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
John 3:16 "But God so loved the world [you and me], that he gave his only son, that we might not perish, but have everlasting life."
Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, he mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
Deuteronomy 14:2 "The Lord chose YOU to be his treasure possesion."
Picture a 90 year old woman who is an invalid. She must be spoon fed, she must be dressed by someone, she must be pushed around in a wheelchair, she must even be bathed, completey naked, by another person--- she is incapable of doing any of these things for herself. Picture now, that I am that invalid old woman. The Lord, in his tenderness, is showing me, that even in my most simple of needs, I am incapable of caring for myself. I cannot feed myself, he must. I cannot direct my own 'steps' in my wheelchair, he must guide and propel me. And, as much as I resist and dislike being completely bare naked before him to get my bath-- there is an unbelievably sweet comfort in doing so. With the precision with which feeds me, the careful care he takes in guiding me, and the tender respect with which he bathes me, in my utter nakedness, I KNOW that he loves me. It's in being bare before him, with him seeing all, knowing all, and doing all that I can know his heart for me. He cares for me tenderly because he loves me. In my infirmities and the needs they cause, it is HE who cares for me. When I am too weak to pick up my spoon and feed myself, it is He who feeds me. When I am too frail to stand from my wheelchair, it is He who carries me into the bed. It is HE who meets all my needs and is with me every moment awaiting readily. He knows my every need and exactly the moment I need it. I've never known a love so sweet. I've never known my Lord so well. And the sweetest part is, this is only the beginning! He has all of eternity to show me more and more of who he is. My lesson today? Just let go, get undressed and get in the tub. He loves me enough for it to be ok. That's the Jesus I know.
Lord, there is so much peace in comfort in being known. Your word says you have searched me and you know me. You know all my ways, all my thoughts, all my actions even before they are. And yet, you still love me. I cannot fathom your love for me. But, I know that it is true, and it is for me. Thank you, sweet Jesus, my savior and king, that you love me with such a complete tenderness. You are the lover of my soul. I am so glad that I am yours.
VIDEO/SONG: "Psalm 139 (You are there)" by Mercy Me
Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
John 3:16 "But God so loved the world [you and me], that he gave his only son, that we might not perish, but have everlasting life."
Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, he mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
Deuteronomy 14:2 "The Lord chose YOU to be his treasure possesion."
Monday, July 19, 2010
RESPONSE ATTACK
THE DEVIL ATTACKS US CONSTANTLY...COUNTER THE ATTACKS OF HIS LIES WITH THE ULTIMATE WEAPON OF GOD'S UNCHANGING TRUTH.
To be very candid, I must admit a current struggle I'm going through in order to communicate what the Lord is speaking to me on it. It is common knowledge that most people desire to find a mate, with women being especially preoccupied with impending marriage. As I cross another birthday (ripe old age of 28!) and watch many of my friends (who are younger than me, I might add) step into marriage, I admittedly struggle with my own marital fate. I trust the Lord. I trust in his plan for me. But, like so many christians, if not all, my head is at odds with my heart. My head tells me that God has a "good, pleasing, and perfect will for me" and that he "has plans to prosper me and not to harm me" but my heart seems to bellow within me the repetitive "when?!" and "Will you actually do what you say?!" Even as I write those words my heart has been speaking, I have to own up to the similarity I see between my own question and the very first lie ever told to humans by the devil, which is: "Did God actually say...?" (Genesis 3:1)
As I have been bringing this struggle to the Lord, he has been showing me where my struggle has very little to do with marriage, singleness and/or trusting Him. On the contrary, my struggle is about being manipulated by lies instead of resting in His Truth. As an exercise in recognizing this battle being waged within me, I made a chart comparing and contrasting the lies I was believing from the devil to the Truth of God's unchanging word.
I encourage you to ask God to show you where you are believing the Father of Lies instead of God's holy and unchanging truth. The devil came to destroy me and you. He is a manipulator and deciever. Pray for God's protection and power as you strive to hold fast to His promises. God alone is faithful.
Lord, thank you for your faithfulness. And thank you for opening my eyes to see where I am being gnawed at by the deceitfulness of the devil. My desire is to set me feet upon the Rock. Please keep me bound to you and your Truth alone.
Ephesians 6:10-12 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against the flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
To be very candid, I must admit a current struggle I'm going through in order to communicate what the Lord is speaking to me on it. It is common knowledge that most people desire to find a mate, with women being especially preoccupied with impending marriage. As I cross another birthday (ripe old age of 28!) and watch many of my friends (who are younger than me, I might add) step into marriage, I admittedly struggle with my own marital fate. I trust the Lord. I trust in his plan for me. But, like so many christians, if not all, my head is at odds with my heart. My head tells me that God has a "good, pleasing, and perfect will for me" and that he "has plans to prosper me and not to harm me" but my heart seems to bellow within me the repetitive "when?!" and "Will you actually do what you say?!" Even as I write those words my heart has been speaking, I have to own up to the similarity I see between my own question and the very first lie ever told to humans by the devil, which is: "Did God actually say...?" (Genesis 3:1)
As I have been bringing this struggle to the Lord, he has been showing me where my struggle has very little to do with marriage, singleness and/or trusting Him. On the contrary, my struggle is about being manipulated by lies instead of resting in His Truth. As an exercise in recognizing this battle being waged within me, I made a chart comparing and contrasting the lies I was believing from the devil to the Truth of God's unchanging word.
DEVIL’S LIES | GOD’S TRUTH |
God won’t provide a husband for me. | God is Jehovah Jireh, which means, “the Lord will provide” (Genesis 22:14) |
God has forgotten me. | Zephaniah 3:17 says “The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” If this is how God loves me, with such great delight, with me as his treasure—then he will surely not simply ‘forget’ me. |
He alone is not enough. | It’s not that he doesn’t love me enough, it’s that he IS enough. Marriage, a husband, a family will not fulfill me; He will. Psalm 73:25-26 says that HE is my portion, HE will fill me and be enough for me. “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” |
He doesn’t love me enough to bless me with marriage. | 1 Peter 5:8, John 8:44 and John 10:10 all tell us that the Devil is an outright liar who is dead-set on devouring and destroying me. Whatever the devil is speaking to me is complete and total garbage and in direct opposition to the goodness of God’s Truth. God tells me to recognize the devil’s lies and hold them up against His Truth---- they won’t hold up. |
I encourage you to ask God to show you where you are believing the Father of Lies instead of God's holy and unchanging truth. The devil came to destroy me and you. He is a manipulator and deciever. Pray for God's protection and power as you strive to hold fast to His promises. God alone is faithful.
Lord, thank you for your faithfulness. And thank you for opening my eyes to see where I am being gnawed at by the deceitfulness of the devil. My desire is to set me feet upon the Rock. Please keep me bound to you and your Truth alone.
Ephesians 6:10-12 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against the flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Monday, May 31, 2010
GOD, SPEAK TO ME! WAIT, NO-- PLEASE HUSH!
Isaiah 40:8
"The grass withers and the flowers fail, but the word of our God stands firm forever."
I have become all too familiar with God's voice, especially when it comes to him saying 'no' to me. I have my plans, I have my ideas. I bounce my important decisions off of people who can give me wise godly counsel. But regardless if all those things line up to say 'yes' to me going forward with something, God can still say no. I have learned that I don't have to know why his 'no' is 'no'. I don't have to know his reasons. Scripture tells me this about God's plans: "But they do not know the thoughts of the Lord; they do not understand his plan" (Micah 4:12) and "the plans of the Lord stand firm forever" (Psalm 33:11) So I know this: the Lord has a plan and I will likely not understand it. Oftentimes, his plans will not make sense to us. But, I also have learned that I must say yes to him when he speaks to me.
I have very recently, in a real and tangible way heard the Lord's voice to me saying 'no' in my heart. I had plans to move in with a good christian friend of mine. I had prayed for months for a roommate, had thoughtfully discussed and planned with her about our living together, and we included other christian friends in helping us come to a conclusion about our decision. All signs pointed to 'yes' from what we could see. As the day drew nearer and we began to draw up paperwork for our lease, the voice of the Lord began screaming in my heart. I got no explanation, no reasoning, no understanding for why this could not come to fruition. I just knew I was hearing God say 'no' to taking this step. Since I have learned, from rather painful experiences, that it is always best to answer in obedience to God's call, I went through the uncomfortable and uncertain steps of following him in faith. While my friend was very gracious about the obedience I had to offer the Lord in these moments, I still had much frustration for why it seemed he was making things so difficult for me in this process. But I chose to trust and obey anyway.
My first instinct in hearing 'no' is to stamp my foot and whine like a three year old. While instead, I should rejoice in his 'no' because it means two things: 1) He is protecting me from something. It might be a dangerous situation, it might be a left turn where it would be best to go right, it might just be protection from myself. And 2) Even if I don't like what he's saying, he is choosing to speak to me, to guide me, to lead me in the steps of his will. And isn't that what I've been praying and asking him to do for so long?
While scripture says that we don't have to know the plans of the Lord, sometimes, we are blessed to get a peek at what he is working. In just a matter of weeks after breaking plans with my roommate in response to the Lord's call of no, I made a sudden decision to move cities entirely. This was not something that had been on my radar even a little bit, but I something I felt a lot of peace in pursuing. On the heels of making this decision to uproot my life and move home near my family, I was able to see how God's 'no' to pursuing living with my friend was just a stepping stone into the next phase of my life he had planned for me. Had I ignored his call, I would have a big mess to clean up and get out of right now as I make my next steps in life. But because I chose to trust and obey, my next steps will be easy and largely effortless. Thank you Jesus that "If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." (Psalm 37:23-24) Because you delight in my way [meaning my heart desires you, your glory,power and honor] you will not let me fall. I praise God for the ways even his 'no' is an act of him upholding me with his right hand and keeping me from falling and failing.
Forgive me for having such little faith that my knee-jerk reaction is to whine and pout instead of rejoicing with thanksgiving that you love me enough to guide and protect me. Thank you, Father, that your 'no' is always a protection that is keeping right in your plan-- your good, pleasing and perfect plan for me. Give me eyes to see your 'no' as faithful love to me and give me a heart that rejoices in that pruning.
"The grass withers and the flowers fail, but the word of our God stands firm forever."
I have become all too familiar with God's voice, especially when it comes to him saying 'no' to me. I have my plans, I have my ideas. I bounce my important decisions off of people who can give me wise godly counsel. But regardless if all those things line up to say 'yes' to me going forward with something, God can still say no. I have learned that I don't have to know why his 'no' is 'no'. I don't have to know his reasons. Scripture tells me this about God's plans: "But they do not know the thoughts of the Lord; they do not understand his plan" (Micah 4:12) and "the plans of the Lord stand firm forever" (Psalm 33:11) So I know this: the Lord has a plan and I will likely not understand it. Oftentimes, his plans will not make sense to us. But, I also have learned that I must say yes to him when he speaks to me.
I have very recently, in a real and tangible way heard the Lord's voice to me saying 'no' in my heart. I had plans to move in with a good christian friend of mine. I had prayed for months for a roommate, had thoughtfully discussed and planned with her about our living together, and we included other christian friends in helping us come to a conclusion about our decision. All signs pointed to 'yes' from what we could see. As the day drew nearer and we began to draw up paperwork for our lease, the voice of the Lord began screaming in my heart. I got no explanation, no reasoning, no understanding for why this could not come to fruition. I just knew I was hearing God say 'no' to taking this step. Since I have learned, from rather painful experiences, that it is always best to answer in obedience to God's call, I went through the uncomfortable and uncertain steps of following him in faith. While my friend was very gracious about the obedience I had to offer the Lord in these moments, I still had much frustration for why it seemed he was making things so difficult for me in this process. But I chose to trust and obey anyway.
My first instinct in hearing 'no' is to stamp my foot and whine like a three year old. While instead, I should rejoice in his 'no' because it means two things: 1) He is protecting me from something. It might be a dangerous situation, it might be a left turn where it would be best to go right, it might just be protection from myself. And 2) Even if I don't like what he's saying, he is choosing to speak to me, to guide me, to lead me in the steps of his will. And isn't that what I've been praying and asking him to do for so long?
While scripture says that we don't have to know the plans of the Lord, sometimes, we are blessed to get a peek at what he is working. In just a matter of weeks after breaking plans with my roommate in response to the Lord's call of no, I made a sudden decision to move cities entirely. This was not something that had been on my radar even a little bit, but I something I felt a lot of peace in pursuing. On the heels of making this decision to uproot my life and move home near my family, I was able to see how God's 'no' to pursuing living with my friend was just a stepping stone into the next phase of my life he had planned for me. Had I ignored his call, I would have a big mess to clean up and get out of right now as I make my next steps in life. But because I chose to trust and obey, my next steps will be easy and largely effortless. Thank you Jesus that "If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." (Psalm 37:23-24) Because you delight in my way [meaning my heart desires you, your glory,power and honor] you will not let me fall. I praise God for the ways even his 'no' is an act of him upholding me with his right hand and keeping me from falling and failing.
Forgive me for having such little faith that my knee-jerk reaction is to whine and pout instead of rejoicing with thanksgiving that you love me enough to guide and protect me. Thank you, Father, that your 'no' is always a protection that is keeping right in your plan-- your good, pleasing and perfect plan for me. Give me eyes to see your 'no' as faithful love to me and give me a heart that rejoices in that pruning.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
SPIRITUAL REST, Part 2
Todays' Read: Matthew 11:25-30
Before even doing the search on 'rest', I knew one thing God had to say about rest was this: "Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:29-30)
When I hear the phrase 'take my yoke, my burden' I am initially hesitant to want to obey that command from Jesus. Burdens, as I know them, are never easy and never light. A burden is called a burden for a reason. In addition, when I hear 'take mine' I immediately think "But I've already got my own load! How am I supposed to also carry yours? There's no more room on my back! My hands are all tied up!" For the first time in my life, I feel the Lord has given me some insight on this verse and this idea.
Jesus never meant for us to carry our own burdens AND his. The reality is that everyone has a burden, or a load to carry. In modern terms, let's call it a backpack--- we all have a backpack. When Jesus tells us to take his 'backpack', he never meant for us to wear two backpacks at once. It's actually impossible. Rather, he meant for us to exchange our backpack for his. What's in my backpack? The weight of loneliness, the burden of fear, the heaviness of uncertainty. In his? The freedom of joy, peace, fulfillment and purpose. Which backpack would you rather carry? Jesus', obviously. Me too.
Taking his yoke doesn't mean picking something else up, it means exchanging your weight for his. Got a heavy backpack? Jesus says "Mine only has a feather light load in it.... take mine instead." Don't like the food you ordered? Jesus says "Here, mine's delicious and satisfying, take mine instead." Lost on the road of life because your version of the map has no compass or key? Jesus says "Here, I know the route by heart, take mine instead--- it has all the directions."
When Jesus says "take mine", He doesn't mean to take his in addition to yours, but rather, take his INSTEAD of yours.
SPIRITUAL REST, PART 1
"It is a sabbath of rest, and you must deny yourselves; it is a lasting ordinance."
I have grown increasingly busy over the last several months. While most, if not all, of the things keeping me busy are things that a) I chose to take on of my own accord, and b) are purposeful and not frivolent in nature. That is to say I'm not busy as a social butterfly is busy, but mostly in commitments to my growing in my career and even more with my church body. As I have sustained such a busy schedule for some time now, I have simultaneously been running lower and lower on steam. About a week and a half ago, I petered out entirely. Now, what this 'petering out' looked like for me was a total emotional meltdown where I burst into tears at work from all the pressure and stress I was feeling from being stretched so thin. As the dust settled from my total conniption fit, I realized that I needed some rest on many levels. If I was going to find it, I needed to see what God had to say about rest. One of my favorite things to do in studying the word is to do what I call a 'word study'. All this means is I type a keyword into www.biblegateway.com and then review all the scriptures that matched the search. When I searched 'rest' the result was literally almost 500 verses. Clearly, God had a lot to say about rest.
It was when I read Leviticus 16:31 that God spoke to me. He didn't whisper, he didn't hint. He might as well have slapped me on the forehead with the bible. The reason that I had become so utterly exhausted was because of my self idolatry. I had chosen, over the last few months, to allow myself back onto the throne seat. I had become most important in my life as a default that I had neglected him. My daily concern was more about what I could accomplish in a day, a week, a month than it was about just meeting with him and being still before him. I have been pursuing accomplishing things that are 'good' and 'honorable'. But the bottom line, is I don't accomplish anything. And I am learning firsthand that when I try to accomplish things in my flesh that were meant for the Lord to accomplish through me, I will become utterly exhausted. It was in reading Leviticus 16:31 that God spoke to me of my own self idolatry. In my efforts to do what he has led me to do, but to do it in my own 'power', it was as if I was saying "Ok God, I'll do what you told me, but I don't need you. I'm good enough to get it accomplished on my own." God had a different message for me. His message was a reminder that if I think I can do it without him, I am elevating myself above him, which is, in fact, idolatry. Webster's online dictionary says this about idolatry: excessive attachment or veneration for anything; respect or love which borders on adoration. By denying my need for him to accomplish all that I had to accomplish, I was having 'excessive veneration and respect' for myself over him. Leviticus 16:31 told me that I need not deny him, but I need to deny myself. In denying myself, I will find the rest that I so desperately need.
Thank you, Lord, that you allow me a place of rest. It is in dying to myself, in choosing not to war with my flesh within me, but rather, surrender to you in my heart, that I find the rest that you intend. Thank you Lord, that when I find myself in you, I find rest. You are so good to me.
AN HONEST, IF IRREVERENT PRAYER
I know it might seem unbearably personal, but I want to share this prayer with you. I know that feeling alone, powerless and disappointed are feelings that most, if not all, believers will experience at some point in their lives. I don't mean to be irreverent to the Lord by asking and saying such bold things. But scripture does give us the freedom to "come boldly before the throne of grace, that we may find grace and obtain mercy in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16 NKJV). And, it also tells us to 'pour out our hearts to him' (Psalm 62:8). It doesn't say to pour out just the parts that are pretty or pleasant. It says to pour out our hearts. Now, I don't know about you, but my heart has a LOT of stuff in it. Some of it is kind of nice and good. However, a lot of it.... not so much.
I have been going through a season of my life where I feel as though I have gone out on a limb in trusting the Lord with my life in it's entirety. I am struggling now with trusting him with that ultimate control of my life. As I'm fumbling around, trying to deal with my struggles in my own power, I cried out to the Lord, from the deepest depths of my heart, in a prayer tonight.
Although it is quite intimidating to share such an intimate thing, I want to share this prayer with you. I suppose I want you to know, that even in my struggles, even in my season of doubt and distrust, I know what the Lord says. I know his word to be true. We will likely all go through these seasons, but praise the Lord that "The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." (Lamentations 3:22-23 NLT) Because of this, I believe, he allows mercy for our doubts, our fears, our frustrations born of small faith. I don't like being in a place where I doubt him. But I praise him with all thankfulness and glory to him that he provides me that mercy to walk in that is renewed each day. Man, I sure do love my Lord.
Here is the prayer I wrote to him tonight:
Sunday, May 2, 2010
I have to admit, Lord, I'm quite angry with you. I know my anger is unrighteous, self-righteous, and inherently evil. But your word tells me to pour out my heart to you. I am here to pour myself out before you. I don't often know what to say. I don't even know that I can articulate what I'm feeling. I will start with what I do know and just share my heart with you. My heart, after all, is yours--- you might as well know what's inside.
I am so angry. I just want to hit something. I want to go before you and scream. I know that you have every good right to strike me dead before you for my irreverent display of immature faithlessness. I can't say that I hate you. I hate where you have me. I hate how I feel. But I fear you enough to never say that I hate you. I do want to say 'why?', though. Why do you have me hurting like this? Why do you have me feeling SO ALONE? I feel so, so empty, pale and dark. I feel empty yet so burdened. I feel the weight of the world is crushing my shell of a soul. Why do I have to hurt like this? Am I not 'getting' something? Why does my frail heart have to endure this deep of a wound? Why does the tenderness in my heart have to bear this burden of loneliness?
I am angry at you. I am angry because I know it is in your power to act. You could pull me from this in this very instant. You could fix my heart. You could lift the burden. You could fill the emptiness and repair the festering wounds. But you sit silent. And the only words you speak are 'no'.
I wish I was a Job; one who was 'crushed' but never curses you. I know that's who I should be. But my faith is apparently so small. I just hurt so much.
Your word tells me that you give and take away. All I see you do is take away. Take. Take. Take. I know it is all rightfully yours. But Lord, don't you have some compassion for me? Doesn't your heart hurt for me like it did for Mary and Martha? Don't you love me? Don't you want to heal me? Don't you want to be merciful to me? Where are you?
I can't do it. I can't stay like this. I can't be filled with this hurt, bitterness, anger and disappointment. I can't have a life like this. I just want to be taken away. I just want to be away from this world. It is too much right now. I can't bear it.
So, I quietly drum through my day like a robot. No purpose, no passion, no heart. How can I give my heart to my 'purpose' here when I feel as though my heart has been stolen from me. It has disappeared into oblivion. Where my heart has gone, I don't know. All I know is the burning wounds it's absence has left behind.
I don't want to be filled with hate. I don't want to be angry at you. I NEED you. I need you to hear me. I need you to act. I need you to be ENOUGH for me. Won't you be what you promised to be? Hear me now, Lord! I can't do this on my own. I can't bear this weight of my own broken heart. My heart is broken within me. How did it break? I don't know. But I know that YOU are the only one who can fix it. Please, Lord, have mercy on me now. Have mercy on my weak, weak soul. I'm just wasting away.
Forgive me, Jesus. Forgive me for my weak and miserable faith. I am not worthy of your mercy. I, in my irreverence, don't deserve your kindness. My faith is much too small to comprehend your goodness. I cannot fathom it, but I know it to be true. Your word says it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to lie. Please teach me to believe your promises. And Lord, forgive me. Forgive me for not trusting you. Forgive me for making a god out of so many things born of my own flesh. Forgive me for making an idol of marriage, of relationship, of love, of my own comfort. Forgive me for placing my own desires on the altar. Forgive me, Lord. I don't deserve your mercy.
Be merciful to me now, Lord. Come to me. Hear me. Hear and act. Heal me now. Meet me in my darkest hour. Carry me. Carry this burden now. Carry this burden and let YOUR NAME be glorified. Let YOUR renown be known because your mercy to me in this burden of hopelessness.
I do love you. I can't run from you. I know I can't escape you and I fear that now. Teach me to find comfort in that. Teach me to rest in knowing that I don't have to run, except to you. Teach me to let you be my refuge. And forgive me for refusing to let you be my Lord. I'm not worthy of you. Thank you for not leaving me now. I don't even know how to say how much I need you. I need you, I need you, I need you. Please Lord, be mine. Don't ever let me be mine. I am not my own, I am yours.
Unless a kernel of wheat dies, it can never bear new life. The new life I bear Lord, I bear in you. Teach me to die to myself and find joy in it. Teach me to find comfort and thanksgiving in dying to myself in exchange for your glory and ABUNDANCE.
I don't even know what to say.
I am yours.
Bethany
I encourage you, wherever you are in your life right now, pour out your heart to him. He is enough for you.(Psalm 73:25-26)
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
WAIT, NOT WHY!
Today's Read:
"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom
and knowledge of God!
How undsearchable his judgements,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?
Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen."
This post is almost a continuation of the previous post. The Lord has really been teaching me lately how to wait on him and trust him, in many areas of my life. I have had to wait on him to lead my in some career decisions, in opportunities to love and serve his people, and on the fruition of friendships and other relationships in my life. Most importantly, though, I've been waiting for him to reveal himself to me continually in a deeper way. When he gives me these revelations, all the other issues of waiting are dimmed in light of knowing him more intimately. He has been teaching me, that when my eyes are fixed on the "author and perfecter of my faith" (Hebrews 12:2) then my perspective changes from asking questions of 'why?!' and shift to still ponderings of simply who He is. When I'm shown more of who he is, I find it simple to say "Do to me what you will." After all, his "ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts are higher than my ways" (Isaiah 55:9).
The reality is, for me (and for all people, really) that I have a plan for myself. I have planned in my heart the major thoroughfares my life will proceed down, and I have small daily plans for how I will spend my moments in the here and now. Even when I don't think I'm planning the outcome of my days, I am. I am learning more and more to relinquish my plans, both big and small, for HIS. He 'has a plan for me, a plan to prosper me, not to harm me but to give me a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11) I will find rest for my heart when I stop seeking my plans and acknowledge that 'YOU are God, and I am not. YOU are enough for me, even if you do not fulfill the plans I have for myself.' The beauty, joy, hope, peace, and freedom that is found in surrendering to that truth is irresistible.
Lord, you have promised to be enough for me. I trust you to be faithful in that. That means, that even when my plans fail or are simply left unfulfilled, that you will be enough for me. You will fulfill me. You will give me rest. You will be my place of rest. I praise you for your faithfulness in being enough for me. And I pray that my temptation to find fulfillment outside of you is never greater than the hunger in my heart for simply abiding in you.
Psalm 16:2 "I said to the Lord 'You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.'"
2 Samuel 15:25-26 "Take the ark of God back into the city. If I find favor in the Lord's eyes, he will bring me back and let me see his dwelling place again. But if he says 'I am not pleased with you' , then I am ready. Let him do to me whatever he pleases."STRUGGLING TO HAVE FAITH
Walking daily in faith with the Lord means that I will endure the ups and downs of life. I will endure the ups and downs of relationship with him. Mind you, the ‘downs’ are only a result of my inadequate responses to circumstances in this life. The ‘downs’ don’t reflect his shortcomings but my lack of faith. In those down times, when I am tempted to rely on myself or question the Lord or simply not believe that He will be good to me, I have a choice. I can either continue to stall in faithlessness or I can rest in being reminded of the truth in his promises.
In the slow times of my journey of faith, I am soothed and encouraged by reading the compilation of scriptures below. The Lord has promised over and over again to be enough for me. To be good to me. To be faithful. When I doubt, I trace back over the etchings of his words into my heart. It is impossible for God to lie (Hebrews 6:18), and with that being true, these words from him calm the storms of uncertainty in my heart.
I hope they bring you the same peace that they give me. My God is a god of peace. (Ephesians 2:14)
I exalt you and praise your name, for you in perfect faithfulness, have done marvelous things, things planned long ago. You are the God who performs miracles. I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. They do not know the thoughts of the Lord, they do not understand His plan. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever---do not abandon the works of your hand. And after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. [God] acts on behalf of those who wait for him. Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished. Wait on the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert, streams in the wasteland. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to carry it to completion.
Whom have I in heaven but you, and earth has nothing I desire besides you. My heart and my flesh may fail, but you are my portion and the strength of my heart forever. One thing God has spoken, two things I have heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving. I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine. He rescued me because he delighted in me.
Scripture References: Isaiah 25:1, Psalm 77:14, Job 42:2, Micah 4:12, Psalm 138:8, Hebrews 6:15, 2 Peter 3:9, Isaiah 64:4, Luke 1:45, Psalm 27:14, Isaiah 43:18, 2 Corinthians 4:18, Philippians 1:6
Psalm 73:25-26, Psalm 62:11, Song of Songs 6:3, 2 Samuel 22:20
Friday, February 5, 2010
HE IS OUR REFUGE
Read: Mostly all over the Psalms
It feels as though I am 'stuck' in the Psalms. But, at this point in my life with the Lord, reading them daily is medicine for my soul. I am hungry for him and they fill me. So, maybe it's redundant to always be referencing them, but they show me the depths of his heart. And how could I ever tire of that?
I was recently inadvertently wounded by a friend. The sting of this has made me feel very vulnerable and caused me to take a good hard look at myself. In my hurt, I want to withdraw and hole up inside myself as a mechanism of self protection. But I recognize that this is an expression of a lack of faith on my part. My instinct to protect myself reveals about me that I forget that I already have a protector. His name is the Lord Jesus.
While in the thick of this temptation to protect myself, the Lord was faithful to speak to me yet again that HE is all I need. He has promised to be my protection, my shield, my place of refuge. Not necessarily physically, but most certainly in matters of the heart.
I came across this picture and couldn't help but see my Father in the photo. He is the creator of ALL things. He created the things we can see and the things that we cannot. ( Colossians 1:16, Revelation 4:11) He knows what all living things need to be able to function healthily. From this photo, I was reminded that not only did he create these elegant birds, but he created their instinct to protect their young. And, to do it in such a fascinating and delicate way. If he knows that these simple creatures need this tender covering of protection, how much more does he know that I need it too? And, how infinitely capable is he of providing me the protection that I need? Seeing the image of the gentle protection he offers me gave me a lot of peace and rest. I don't need to struggle to protect myself. I need only to crawl under the covering of his wings and rest in his powerful ability (and desire) to be my refuge. This picture was particularly striking to me because of the many references scripture makes to finding shelter under His 'wings'. See below verses:
Ps. 17:8 "Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings."
Ps. 36:7 "How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings."
Ps. 61:4 "I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings."
Ps. 91:4 "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."
Matt. 23:37 "how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings"
He is more than capable of being my protection and a place where I can rest from the storms of this life. Even the storms of my own heart. I just need to let him be my refuge.
Lord, thank you so much that you know I need your protection and your covering before I even recognize that I need it. Thank you for being ready and willing to be my refuge and my place of of rest. You are enough for me. I don't need to fight for myself or try to zealously protect my heart. You are my protector. Thank you for teaching me to rest in that.
Psalm 32:7 "You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance."
Psalm 5:11 "But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you."
Psalm 73:28 "But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds."
Proverbs 30:5 ""Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him."
***As I studied, I realized that there are countless references to God being our 'refuge' in the bible. I have included a link to a search on the word 'refuge' on www.biblegateway.com. It is very encouraging to just read through all 95 of them quickly. I encourage you to take a look here.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
CARDBOARD TESTIMONIES
Today's Read: 1 Peter 2:9
For the christmas eve service at my church this year, rather than having the pastor engage in lengthy dialogue about the story of Jesus, he arranged to have the lives Jesus has touched and changed to speak for themselves. Each person that came on the stage spoke no words, but carried a cardboard sign with a message written on it. On the sign, was a scrawled phrase defining their life and who they were prior to living with Jesus. Without saying a word, they would turn their cards over and reveal a victorious message depicting who they are now because of Christ. It was a very simple but profoundly moving method to conveying the power of Christ's spirit in people's lives. (*See link below to view a video of the 'cardboard testimonies')
As a church body, we were challenged going forward into the new year to examine what we would write on our own cardboard testimonies. That is to say, what is the most profound difference in my life prior to walking with Jesus and since walking with Jesus. I thought a good bit about it and came up with a solid list of noticeable changes to be thankful for because of the Lord. Here are some of the things I jotted down as I thought:
Burdened by shame and guilt.....rest in the yoke of his peace
Lived as an enemy of the cross.....living as salt and light
Broken and lost....redeemed and treasured
Wandered aimlessly..... live with purpose
Hurt and broken hearted..... healed and whole
While all of the above listed things are beautiful and wonderful things he's worked in me, I felt like they could be best summed up in this statement:
"Before trusting Jesus, I constantly stumbled around in the darkness, now I walk in the freedom of his light."
I didn't know how dark my darkness was until he shined his light on me. It was like I was living life constantly bumping into things and hurting myself as a result. I was confused, misguided and lost. Because of his goodness, he has brought light to my heart. I don't have to stumble around in in my darkness. I have his light guiding me and leading me. And for once, I am at a loss for words to describe how truly wonderful and beautiful this is. I know who I am now because I know my maker. And there is such an unbelievable freedom in that.
Sweet Lord Jesus, you are so good to me. You have called me out darkness and into light. My every moment, every thought is now filled with your purpose and your peace. I have given you all my life and all that is within my heart because I know that you are enough for me. Thank you for your faithfulness and your goodness to me. I do love you. I am yours.
Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
1 Peter 2:9-10 "But you are a chosen people, a royal preisthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but have now received mercy."
Psalm 18:28 "My God turns my darkness into light...."
Psalm 119:105 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."
LINKS
Watermark Community Church cardboard testimonies (my home church in Dallas)
Video 1
Video 2
Austin Stone Community Church cardboard stories (a church I attended for a while in Austin just before I moved to Dallas several years ago.)
For the christmas eve service at my church this year, rather than having the pastor engage in lengthy dialogue about the story of Jesus, he arranged to have the lives Jesus has touched and changed to speak for themselves. Each person that came on the stage spoke no words, but carried a cardboard sign with a message written on it. On the sign, was a scrawled phrase defining their life and who they were prior to living with Jesus. Without saying a word, they would turn their cards over and reveal a victorious message depicting who they are now because of Christ. It was a very simple but profoundly moving method to conveying the power of Christ's spirit in people's lives. (*See link below to view a video of the 'cardboard testimonies')
As a church body, we were challenged going forward into the new year to examine what we would write on our own cardboard testimonies. That is to say, what is the most profound difference in my life prior to walking with Jesus and since walking with Jesus. I thought a good bit about it and came up with a solid list of noticeable changes to be thankful for because of the Lord. Here are some of the things I jotted down as I thought:
Burdened by shame and guilt.....rest in the yoke of his peace
Lived as an enemy of the cross.....living as salt and light
Broken and lost....redeemed and treasured
Wandered aimlessly..... live with purpose
Hurt and broken hearted..... healed and whole
While all of the above listed things are beautiful and wonderful things he's worked in me, I felt like they could be best summed up in this statement:
"Before trusting Jesus, I constantly stumbled around in the darkness, now I walk in the freedom of his light."
I didn't know how dark my darkness was until he shined his light on me. It was like I was living life constantly bumping into things and hurting myself as a result. I was confused, misguided and lost. Because of his goodness, he has brought light to my heart. I don't have to stumble around in in my darkness. I have his light guiding me and leading me. And for once, I am at a loss for words to describe how truly wonderful and beautiful this is. I know who I am now because I know my maker. And there is such an unbelievable freedom in that.
Sweet Lord Jesus, you are so good to me. You have called me out darkness and into light. My every moment, every thought is now filled with your purpose and your peace. I have given you all my life and all that is within my heart because I know that you are enough for me. Thank you for your faithfulness and your goodness to me. I do love you. I am yours.
Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
1 Peter 2:9-10 "But you are a chosen people, a royal preisthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but have now received mercy."
Psalm 18:28 "My God turns my darkness into light...."
Psalm 119:105 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."
LINKS
Watermark Community Church cardboard testimonies (my home church in Dallas)
Video 1
Video 2
Austin Stone Community Church cardboard stories (a church I attended for a while in Austin just before I moved to Dallas several years ago.)
Monday, February 1, 2010
PREPARING FOR HARVEST
Todays Read: Galatians 5
I am in the midst of a season of my life that is full of uncertainty and instability. The blessing of this period is the opportunity that the Lord is giving me to lean wholly on him. The Psalms are full of references to God being a refuge to those who trust him. However, despite the fact that I know he is my refuge, a byproduct of living in uncertainty is vulnerability that can lead to insecurity. I am daily tempted to succumb to my vulnerability and reach back into myself and try to 'fix' things in my life or pursue things out of my own strength. With uncertainty comes fear or faith. I am learning, now, that both cannot reside in my heart simultaneously. Will I, in fear from uncertainty, abandon my purpose right now to wait on the Lord? (Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.") Or will I trust Him and joyfully rest in His glorious mysteries? I don't know what He's working, I don't know what He's planned. But His word tells me "You [Lord], in perfect faithfulness, have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." (Isaiah 25:1) I may not know what marvelous things He's in the midst of working or preparing. But I know He has had a "good, pleasing, and perfect" (Romans 12:2) plan from the beginning of time.
As I prayed for the Lord to give me eyes to see His faithfulness at work in me, he was swift to meet me in my need. I reviewed the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control) in Galatians 5 and the Lord spoke peace into my heart about this season in my life. In reading about the fruits, it was my intention to be introspective and test myself to look for these fruits. In my logic, I thought, "if the Lord really is working in my life now, then surely, I will be able to recognize some of these fruits in my life." While I think it is a wise thing to examine your ways and look for these tangible 'fruits', the Lord had a different purpose for me in studying them this day. As I was pondering, I remembered John 12:24-25 "unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."
It was then that I realized that before the fruits come forth, the seed of my heart must perish. My 'seed', that is my desires for my life and desire to control it's course and outcome, must be buried before I can fully grow and bring forth the fruit of His works in my life. In his faithfulness, he reminded me yet again to "wait on the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait on the Lord" (Ps. 27:14). Because, if I trust in him while I am in this period of letting my seed 'die', then he will be faithful to bring forth the fruit. Just like real fruit though, spiritual fruit does not get produced over night. It is a long process in which he carefully tends to the process every step of the way. And just because I don't see the end result of his faithfulness in specific circumstances in my life right now, it doesn't mean that he's not at work. The harvest comes after the sowing, tending and growing. But the harvest will come. The bible tells me so.
Lord, I trust you in your promise of faithfulness. I know that if I want to live in you perfect plan, then I have to let go of my plan and therefore, the driver's seat of my life. I give you my life and I trust you with it. And while I might be in a period of waiting right now, of uncertainty, one thing is not uncertain, and that is you. You are unchanging, you are faithful and you are good. I will trust in you and seek you as my only refuge and my strength.
"I know that you can do all things, no plan of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." Luke 9:24-25
I am in the midst of a season of my life that is full of uncertainty and instability. The blessing of this period is the opportunity that the Lord is giving me to lean wholly on him. The Psalms are full of references to God being a refuge to those who trust him. However, despite the fact that I know he is my refuge, a byproduct of living in uncertainty is vulnerability that can lead to insecurity. I am daily tempted to succumb to my vulnerability and reach back into myself and try to 'fix' things in my life or pursue things out of my own strength. With uncertainty comes fear or faith. I am learning, now, that both cannot reside in my heart simultaneously. Will I, in fear from uncertainty, abandon my purpose right now to wait on the Lord? (Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.") Or will I trust Him and joyfully rest in His glorious mysteries? I don't know what He's working, I don't know what He's planned. But His word tells me "You [Lord], in perfect faithfulness, have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." (Isaiah 25:1) I may not know what marvelous things He's in the midst of working or preparing. But I know He has had a "good, pleasing, and perfect" (Romans 12:2) plan from the beginning of time.
As I prayed for the Lord to give me eyes to see His faithfulness at work in me, he was swift to meet me in my need. I reviewed the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control) in Galatians 5 and the Lord spoke peace into my heart about this season in my life. In reading about the fruits, it was my intention to be introspective and test myself to look for these fruits. In my logic, I thought, "if the Lord really is working in my life now, then surely, I will be able to recognize some of these fruits in my life." While I think it is a wise thing to examine your ways and look for these tangible 'fruits', the Lord had a different purpose for me in studying them this day. As I was pondering, I remembered John 12:24-25 "unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."
It was then that I realized that before the fruits come forth, the seed of my heart must perish. My 'seed', that is my desires for my life and desire to control it's course and outcome, must be buried before I can fully grow and bring forth the fruit of His works in my life. In his faithfulness, he reminded me yet again to "wait on the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait on the Lord" (Ps. 27:14). Because, if I trust in him while I am in this period of letting my seed 'die', then he will be faithful to bring forth the fruit. Just like real fruit though, spiritual fruit does not get produced over night. It is a long process in which he carefully tends to the process every step of the way. And just because I don't see the end result of his faithfulness in specific circumstances in my life right now, it doesn't mean that he's not at work. The harvest comes after the sowing, tending and growing. But the harvest will come. The bible tells me so.
Lord, I trust you in your promise of faithfulness. I know that if I want to live in you perfect plan, then I have to let go of my plan and therefore, the driver's seat of my life. I give you my life and I trust you with it. And while I might be in a period of waiting right now, of uncertainty, one thing is not uncertain, and that is you. You are unchanging, you are faithful and you are good. I will trust in you and seek you as my only refuge and my strength.
"I know that you can do all things, no plan of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." Luke 9:24-25
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